The Mirror Of Relationship | Care2 Healthy Living
The Mirror of Relationship: Love, Sex, and Chastity. “Relationship is something I always struggle with, here is a book that suggests I stop struggling and start. Relationships are the mirror in which we see ourselves, as we are, with our reactions, our trauma, our fears, our loneliness, pain, grief. Relationships are our . Relationships are opportunities to see how we react to others; how we communicate, how we feel, what makes us upset; what behaviors we.
They are mirroring how you feel. Do you feel love and excitement towards them? You cannot emit a certain vibration and have someone stay in your life that is emitting a totally different vibration. Think about when a baby is smiling and laughing around you, how do you feel?
You feel happy and loved. You smile back and send them unconditional love and then they feel happy and loved in return. Kids are great for this because they have such a pure, positive vibration. Or another example is, if you feel like your partner is always working and gives you no attention then you will start to become resentful towards them because they are making you feel unimportant.
Eventually you will do something back to them that is resentful and they will also feel unimportant to you. This is a great way to understand how someone feels about you, how do you feel about them? Really dig deep and trust what you truly feel. This is a good time to stop and evaluate where this is coming from and how to fix it. It cannot be any other way. You can either reflect the horrible feeling of being unworthy back to them and endure a continuous circle of negative behaviours that offer no kind of solution.
Or you can do the hard thing and make a conscious effort to change how you feel in the inside and they will eventually reflect that back to you. It can transform your relationship in a much more loving way. Relationships are powerful tools to show you what you need to work on and what is working good in your life. Relationship are mirrors that reflect back to you what you feel on the inside. It is just a mirror for both of us. In this mirror, we discover ourselves—our tendencies, our weaknesses, and our strengths.
We discover our good qualities as well as our negative qualities. This mirror becomes a very precious teacher for us, a very precious path.
The mirror of relationship becomes a very precious teaching for us to discover who we really are, and where we are on the path and in the world altogether. This is a lot to take in, so our tendency is to see what we want to see in this relationship mirror.
The problem with this approach is that two people in a close relationship can see two different things.
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We would rather idealize our relationship; we would rather escape. We would rather live in the future than in this very immediate present moment.
But if we can practice being in this present moment, relationship becomes a path and the mirror a great teacher. In our relationship with another, we often misunderstand how we are connected. We may think we are two made into one, or we may think we are completely independent.
My father taught me that a marriage or partnership, an intimate relationship with another human being, is like two rings coming together. You can illustrate it with your fingers. Make a ring with each hand, then join the rings together.
Free Yourself With the Mirror of Relationship
There is mutual responsibility, joy, and sharing, yet at the same time we must understand there are also the two sides. There is not only the middle.
Individual space is also necessary, and if we try to overlap these two rings totally, we lose balance. There is a common bond, but there are also two individual mind streams. We must respect that and allow the other independence. The common space respects the individual space. We cannot overpower the other or make them just like us. The other not only has needs but also individual habits that you cannot change. They need to initiate change themselves; you cannot forcibly change them.
We must respect that. We must know that the other acts out of habit pattern, just as we do. Just as we cannot be forcibly changed from the outside, so too with them. Problems begin when we lose the balance that comes from understanding the interplay of connection and separateness. We lose the sense of mindfulness when we lose the basic balance of the selfless, egoless teaching, and become selfish, ego-centered, or even ego-maniacal.