What does it mean to be transparent? Whether it's with your friends, significant other or family members, how transparent would you say you are with them?. Transparency is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship. It reflects a Who wants to admit that they have said or done mean or hurtful things?. Below, I'll explain why a “transparent relationship” is essential for sustaining about what you haven't revealed; but also acknowledging your reluctance to do so. That doesn't mean that you and your partner are always on the same plane.
After all, none of us want to go crashing onto the floor! When you don't fully trust your mate, it's much the same. You probably don't go around literally falling backwards hopefully into his or her waiting arms, but there are countless occasions in which you either trust your partner or you don't. This might relate to something as simple as your expectations about him or her remembering to pick up bread at the store on the way home.
Or it could tie in with your beliefs that your partner will not cheat when he or she is on a business trip alone. If trust is lacking, damaged, or seems nonexistent, you probably can feel it and it will show in the ways you two interact with one another.
Relationship Trust Advice: How Transparent Do You Have To Be?
Can you be too transparent? But when people talk about having total transparency in a relationship, you could wonder if this is just going too far. You might encounter particular situations in which it seems like the absolute truth would hurt your mate or cause further problems between the two of you.
In these situations, you might grapple with whether or not telling a lie would be a better course to take. For example, maybe your ex-boyfriend from college recently contacted you over the internet. At first, all seemed quite innocent and you enjoyed catching up with him via e-mail. But after a few online correspondences, the tone of your ex-boyfriend's messages changed.
He is now wanting to talk about his feelings for you that, according to him, have not changed and even proposes that the two of you set up a face-to-face meeting to talk about reuniting. If you are currently in a relationship in which you value trust and want to keep moving closer to your partner, a scenario like this might be difficult to handle.
You can certainly make it clear to your ex-boyfriend that you are not interested in reuniting with him and end the online communications.
But do you share all of this with your present mate? Would being completely transparent with your love about what's happened just cause needless worry or even disconnection and suspicion?
If there is a question for you about how honest or transparent to be with your mate, we first suggest that you look inside yourself and consider your motives. Is your desire to keep a secret or lie coming from a place of fear or worry? If so, delve deeper into your emotions. It could be that you don't want to share with your mate that you've been e-mailing with your ex because he or she tends to be jealous.
Be Radically Transparent for a Lasting Emotional and Sexual Relationship | HuffPost Life
You believe that this kind of information would just set your partner off which is the last thing you want. Or your motives for keeping a secret might be because a part of you wants to know that you could get your ex back if you ever wanted to-- you discover that you aren't as over this past relationship as you thought.
Each harbors feelings about a disagreement from earlier that afternoon over a financial matter. Both had shut down after a few minutes rather than expose some deeper concerns each of them had, and that were probably the source of the disagreement.
So now, they continued driving in silence, hoping the residue would wear off later But it only added another brick in the wall. Like many, this couple had become accustomed to concealing parts of themselves from each other.
Be Radically Transparent for a Lasting Emotional and Sexual Relationship
But practicing what I call "Radical Transparency" could have helped them stay connected while dealing with the conflict. Moreover, it's essential for sustaining intimacy in a romantic relationship. To explain, a current irony is that transparency is burgeoning all around us, but relationships seem to be stuck in a last-century time warp, untouched by the changing world. That is, our hyperconnected, social-media dominated world bursts with transparency: Public exposure of truths and realities appear almost immediately via YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, blogs and a host of other vehicles.
Relationship Trust Advice: How Transparent Do You Have To Be?
The lies of politiciansatrocities by despotsethical transgressions by corporations -- all become quickly exposed to the world. Transparency is rising, and couples can benefit from embracing a radical version of it and making it a kind of operating system for their relationships. It's an antidote to the long slide into emotional, spiritual and sexual decline, or toward affairs and divorce.
Couples grapple with trying to "balance" work and life issues while managing careers, raising children, paying bills, and so on. Interactions become increasingly transactional. Conflicts and power struggles color daily life.
Hiding out, concealing thoughts and feelings, and secret manipulation are drains. As one spouse reported, "I can't remember why we got together in the first place. They are the product of how people learn to conduct romantic relationships in our culture -- what I've called our " adolescent model of love.
Research about relationships that thrive for the long run, as well as new knowledge about positive development in general, underscore that Radical Transparency is a conduit for sustaining intimacy and connection.
Or, for restoring and rebuilding it when when it's broken down. Radical Transparency has two parts: One is being open and revealing about yourself to your partner. It includes letting go of inhibitions or defensive feelings you might be harboring about what you haven't revealed, and also acknowledging your reluctance to do so.
The flip side is being open and receptive to your partner's reality: It means openly encouraging your partner to express them to you. Mounting research supports the value of Radical Transparency, including studies that find that people who are truthful about themselves experience more relationship intimacy and wellbeing; better romantic relationships. Also, people who have close relationships use more positive than negative words when communicating. Overall, studies find that positive connection and intimacy grow from being transparent about what's inside of you, but not from making negative judgments about your partner and focusing on them in your communication.
Radical transparency can be painful, perhaps relationship-threatening. But it's more likely to open the door to strengthening the foundation of your relationship. People who've reflected on lessons from divorce often discover that in retrospect, according to a new study. Research also confirms that transparency in your intimate relationships has a wide-ranging, long-term impact on your physical and mental health.
Sadly, so many couples report feeling alone within their relationship.