Should i lower my expectations in a relationship

Dealing with Disappointing Relationships: Change Your Expectations

should i lower my expectations in a relationship

How Expectations Undermine Our Relationships and Happiness feelings were entirely created by my expectations of how he should have behaved. Before you think that I'm suggesting you lower your expectations of other people and. Depending on our level of fear of abandonment, or loss of any kind, we start to manage down our expectations so we can justify staying. The other night at the local custard shop, my husband and I saw two expectations is key to happiness, peace of mind, relationship and life satisfaction. Most everyone gets touchy about the idea of lowering expectations.

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How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it was not? How many times have you said a certain word or phrase in order to spark a specific reaction?

How much do you expect from this person? Do they fail you each and every time? In healthy relationships there are certain expectations, like being treated well or being respected. We may feel hurt or used.

Relationship Expectations: How To Avoid The Disappointment

We cannot expect other people to treat us as we would treat them. We cannot assume anything or force change upon someone who clearly demonstrates he or she is stuck in his or her own way.

With eyes full of clarity, I am capable of changing the relationships in my life by adjusting my point of view. I call my father a sperm donor. He gave me life but never showed up in my life. My friends at school never knew I had a father because they never saw him. He missed all of the concerts and sports games. I had no idea where my dad lived. Some days I was not sure he was still alive.

Relationship Expectations: How To Avoid The Disappointment

In high school, my dad limped back into my life. I could stop by his apartment and visit him when I wanted to.

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy And Prevent Breakups

If I called him, he would pick up the phone. Things were changing between us. Once I started looking around, though, I saw many other examples. For instance, I once had the expectation that a new acquaintance would quickly respond to my text and agree that she, too, had a nice time hanging out with me.

Keep Your Expectations In Check And Your Relationship Will Be Happier

I expected an automatic response, and not getting one undermined my happiness. I had built up a vision of him having a really warm and amused reception to this card, and when there was almost zero reaction, I was crushed.

You may try to, you may want to, but ultimately, how they act is up to them. Instead, try being open to any and all reactions from others.

Keep Your Expectations In Check And Your Relationship Will Be Happier | Thought Catalog

If, on that gorgeous night back inI had opened my mind and heart to my husband with no preconceived notions of what his mood should be, my evening could have remained joyful and I may have even improved his evening, too. Is your expectation reasonable?

should i lower my expectations in a relationship

It is unreasonable to expect that on the first date that they will cook you dinner, dance the tango and shower you with gifts. Have you ever clearly expressed what your expectation or boundary actually IS? How are you at mind-reading? Not so good, right? Well neither is anyone else if you are, please share your secrets in the comment section. Your partner will usually go out of their way to make you happy, but you have to express what you want.

Can you let it slide or is it a total deal-breaker? This is decision time.

should i lower my expectations in a relationship

Overtime, maintaining resentment will only poison YOU. Only you know what your relationship expectations are, but be aware that the more personal expectations you wrack up, the more difficult for the rest of the people in your life… like your hapless daughter-in-law.

should i lower my expectations in a relationship

This post originated on Attract the One.