Just because two people are in a loving and committed relationship, doesn't mean it should be without boundaries (within what ever boundaries the couple sets. Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting ideas about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with. Marriage is the foundation of many peoples' lives, and it's beautiful to watch a growing relationship unfold into a virtuous marriage. In many marriages, there is a.
And I think that usually, unless the person has some kind of disorder, where there is a real emotional bond, there is at least some respect. You explained these issues very well and you gave very clear examples of the problem that occurs if lust comes first without developing into love. This view is different from my questioning if love and lust can coexist, which is the title of this article.
However, your example is an important added consideration. Your point focuses on the male lusting after a woman. Could it result in the same scenario—in your opinion? Teresa 10 days ago I disagree that the feelings of lust have to come first.
I feel that the exact opposite is the case. I have found that when someone lusts after someone without first developing respect for them, they simply use them and throw them away and never come to respect them. Respect needs to come first, before anything sexual happens, for a real, healthy relationship. When guys say that they need to first have sex with a woman before they can consider having a serious romantic relationship with her, they're lying.
They just want to have sex without any real relationship. They're hoping that some woman will be lonely and desperate enough to give them what they want in the hopes of MAYBE getting some real love in return. Sorry if that sounds cynical, but that's what I think. You do make an interesting point, though, about there being a conflict between lust and respect.
I would agree that respect does prevent lust, but that is because lust actually indicates a lack of respect. Lust, in my opinion, is more than just strong feelings of sexual attraction. Lusting after someone means desiring someone sexually with the intent, or the desire, to use that person to fulfill one's own sexual desires, with no regard for that person's feelings, or how it affects the other person in any way.
Even if you begin with respect, before lust has developed, it is still possible to develop strong feelings of sexual attraction. I had developed a great deal of respect for my current boyfriend before the feelings of physical desire developed. I think the main problem with this article is the way lust is defined.
Lust involves more than just strong feelings of sexual desire, it also involves a lack of respect, and seeing the other person as a mere sexual object. I've also had the experience of having someone lust after me. I made the mistake of giving in even though we never met in person and sex chatting with him online.
After he had gotten what he wanted, he had no more use for me. He stopped talking to me, unfriended me, and deleted all the virtual gifts that I had sent him. That's what happens when the person lusting gets what they want before they've developed any respect for the other person.Choices and relationships - Dave Rant
They just use them and then throw them away like garbage. I went into a lot of detail that should answer your question.
Gelo Do you think the main source of Lust is Love?
Can Love and Lust Coexist in a Relationship?
I find that idea interesting that love and lust become neutral. The way you explained it, it makes sense. Edy 14 months ago You just need to combine them! Learn how to combine Love and Lust and Respect will come in time. They become good or evil when altered by our perception or situation. Just imagine a couple. They stay in the same house, they have fights, ups and downs, extreme situations, moments when they want to quit As time passes they grow to know each other better, they function better together, and they trust each other.
I would think your thoughts are a guiding light for those who struggle with these issues. Lennard Curvan 17 months ago I started reading this article about the three main teams love, lust and respect.
I think this is quite an interesting article. However somewhere down the line, my head started spinning from all the different thoughs. This is even though they are quite interesting.
First I just wanted to say that in defining anything we sometimes come up with many answers.
Can Love and Lust Coexist in a Relationship? | PairedLife
This is simply because the answers we have for any topic is answered based upon our triditional, cultural, religious, social or other wise background. When we meet someone we can have great love for that person, maybe even the other way around, great lust, maybe just respect, or even a mixture of all three.
I will not comment about what is wrong or right. I will just keep that to myself not being selfish. What we should realize is that our relationship is really based on an agreement that we will stay together for life.
Coexistence in Marriages and Relationships
We are not perfect so for what ever reason if that didn't happen, try to do it right the next time. The love, lust, and respect you have the rest of your life to work on. You can perfect your combination by learning and cultivating new habits to make things better. The best thing in that situation is to see how you can better serve the other person.
In time, you both can grow and change for the better. You want more love. Learn how to be more loving and eventually it may come back to you. You want more respect, be always respectful and it will return back to you. You want more mutual feelings lust as you will saycultivate that and you will eventually reap a great harvest. If all of those things don't work.
Thank God for the patience, the longsuffering, the kindness and all his wonderful attributes you are learning from just trying to be a better person in your relationship. Life is to short. Learn to be the best you you can be, for others. Eventually you will leave this world a better place. We all have to go sometime.
Our habits don't just affect the person that is close to us. We leave a little piece in the puzzle of life that affects the entire outcome of humanity for eternity. That's all that matters.
- Learning to Accept Your Partner
- The Dilemma of Love, Lust and Respect
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She-Wolf 20 months ago My spouse and I have been together for at the time writing this 13 going on 14 years. We have times where we just do a quick kiss then go to bed then, there are times we are on each other still acting like a couple of horny teenagers. Neither of us has really felt the need to get married not that we haven't talked about it. There is even another aspect to this Timetraveler2 2 years ago What you're discussing with regards to respect and lust is the old "Madonna" complex.
Once some men gain respect and admiration for a woman, they begin to view her much in the same way as they view their mothers. No normal man would ever dream of having sex with his own mother! It's probably more common than we realize. I've recently made the decision to commit to a woman whom I've been enjoying wonderful sex with, and it's almost like my physical desire for her has disappeared overnight. The stronger the feelings are in my chest, the lesser they are in my loins.
Cannot tell you how reassuring it is to have this article validate my experience. Isaac 3 years ago Lust alone ruins; Love respects; and respect may not always love, but it does at times and when that happens, adoration of the respected-lusted after individual takes root To keep things in perfect harmony, love must reign supreme in order to find lust and respect It's a great thought Your explanation of your three relationships makes something very clear that is important.
That is, the order of the development of the three things. From your experience it is absolutely clear that the best relationship, and a lasting one, has a better chance if respect comes first.
Then lust, and finally - love. It is also understandable that lust will always deminish over time as people age. But respect can never be taken away as long as it is based on truth. They were insecure people. I spent years walking on eggshells, trying to anticipate my next misstep. As a kid, it seemed as if adults everywhere put everyone else on the hook for their own happiness.
Coexistence in Marriages and Relationships
No matter how much my dad approved of something I did one day, he might disapprove of the very same thing the next day. Thinking of the two of you as a team shifts your focus. I do the laundry more than you at times, and you do a million other things for me at times. The extreme look-out-for-myself-first approach is what made my relationship with my dad defensive and inauthentic.
Teammates A couple weeks ago, I was talking with a friend about her marriage when she confessed that she was once a score-keeper. When I asked how she came to leave the score keeping behind, she told me that her husband said something one day that completely turned it around for her.
In the midst of one of her score reports, her husband said the reason he never thought that way was because he saw them as a team.
She gives more in some ways and he gives more in other ways, but why keep track when they are always working together, in the end? She instantly knew that was true. Although insights are personal, she had the same game-changing one I did.
She never looked at her relationship in quite the same way again.