My husband wants to starts having a Domestic Discipline Marriage? | Yahoo Answers
Sep 27, I'm rather new to domestic discipline (we started around , and introduced it I want to submit myself to him as our leader, but he still wants my to your husband entirely and being in a loving relationship with him, where. Mar 3, My husband and I actually started practicing domestic discipline as more of To start with, domestic discipline is not a “spanking relationship. An HoH wants their partner to succeed and is there as a helpful guide and .. This blog place is what I and my husband have been looking for. we tried last year.
This would mean there are actions that would need to happen and be completed. As you may have already guessed, it's advised to begin with something from the Tangible part of the TiH List. When the Taken in Hand partner feels comfortable with ideas or goals to begin with, they have their first Sit Down Discussion with the HoH and have an open honest discussion with each other.
The TiH List is an ever growing and changing entity.
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With that in mind, I always encourage the people I advice to keep that first one. It will be written and rewritten when the one in use gets a little congested with notes, new ideas, goals and aspirations. When it is rewritten on a new sheet of paper yes, I said paper! This helps insure consensuality and that the new HoH does not become a dictator or controlling micro manager.
This is not playtime. I'm not suggesting that nothing on the HoH Rules comes directly from the HoH, but keep it minimal, clear and defined. Generalities on the HoH Rules will only cause confusion later on. Then share what item or two you would first like to have included from your HoH Rules. Here's what I suggest from years of Mentorship and experience: Christian Domestic Discipline This is completely unworkable for the modern man.
You are tied into a marriage! Impractical should she actually change her mind and wish to leave the relationship. Ambiguous terms of consent since there is no signed contract. Taken in Hand Relationship This is the most workable of the models you might come across. More applicable to long term marriages with deep emotional connections. Most examples of this relationship seem to be female initiated which is great, but a rare exception.
Firstly, he can virtually guarantee her behaviour will at times be rude, brat-like and disrespectful.
Is it normal that my husband uses spanking as domestic discipline?
The thought of the man being in charge — or God forbid, spanking her — will likely be foreign and off-putting to her. This will instantly emasculate the man if he allows it to happen.
The modern gentleman needs to address this risk, ensuring he has documented evidence of consent. Simply put, you need to be ready to be the best she has ever had.
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Do not underestimate this. It has to do with the differenct between fantasy and reality. Sexual fantasies are another matter. I remember a crush I had on a teacher in high school. I had a dream on night that I was standing in front of him in his classroom wearing only my bra and panties. For months I fantasized about that. Did I really want that situaion to take place? It would have been humiliating for me at that time. Did the thought really turn me on? This is true because of the vulnerability inherent in sex.
Your husband wants to be vulnerable to you. Your husband is afraid of being vulnerable to you. Your husband wants you to control him. Your husband fears being controlled by you.
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Your husband wants the feeling of being scolded and spanked by a strong woman. After a couple of stinging slaps to his buttocks, he does not want to be spanked further.
The fact is that he needs to accept a couple of things about marriage. Domestic Discpline meets those needs in the only way he can fully accept. He can accept it because it uses a deeply ingrained sexual fantasy to achieve its end.
When a wife attempts to control her husband without indulging this fantasy, he resents and resists her. When she controls him by accessing this fantasy, he appreciates and cooperates with her. That said, it should be noted that there are a small percentage of men who really do enjoy the actual punishment.
The more heavily masochistic man will enjoy being spanked no matter how hard you spank him. You will know your husband falls into this category if his behavior deteriorates after initiating Domestic Discipline.
While all men will test limits at times and seem to provoke discipline occassionally, you will probably find that your husband is very careful not to provoke a spanking for at least a week or so after a good hard one. If your husband is like that you are better off considering the spanking to be a reward and spell out the things he needs to do in order to earn one.
Most men, however, do not fall into that category. That part of it appeals to me as does the behavioral change that you say will take place in him. Do I have to be mean in order to do this? While it is a good idea to have a sense of humor about all of this and to let him see that you find this humurous at times, there are times when you must be or appear to be very serious, very strict and very firm.
If you seem to be in the humor mode all of the time he will get the sense that you are not really in control and he will only cooperate when he feels like it. Once he gets into that habit, the positive effects of Domestic Discipline get lost.
I know this is hard for some women.
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That is why I suggest thinking of yourself as role-playing when it is time to administer an effective punishement or scolding. It is also why I recomment that you require your husband to thank you after he has been punished; it reinforces your sense that you have done him a favor and relieves you of the uncomfortable feeling that you may have been cold or uncaring.
Every woman, no matter how meek and mild, has the following things inside her: Anger — general and specific Resentment at the things men think they can get away with. An impatientce with bratty, immature behaviors, and A need to feel in control.
I suggest tapping into and giving vent to these feelings when your husband needs to be disciplined. After the discipline has been administered, you can move back into your warm, loving persona. It seems that this program of Domestic Discipline would take a lot of my time and attention in order to be done right.
This is a way to finally get your husband to do his share of work around the house and maybe a little bit of your share also to make up for the years you were doing most of his share. You gain tons of time and give very little. Let me be more specific here. This is not time consuming however.