If you're willing to resign your pursuit of happiness to give that same gift to your partner, And the fact you even have this dilemma is noble, and if being noble Amidst the guilt of breakup or choice to stay in your unhappy relationship, the. If you're feeling trapped in a relationship or stuck in a relationship, it could either be a natural stage or a sign that something more is wrong. If you weren't married and your mistress wasn't married, then for sure you SHOULD pursue a real relationship with her if you're hitting it off.
Stuck in a quandary between my wife and my married mistress
If you have your health and your wits about you then you are as ready for a stimulating life as those two decades younger. So perhaps my advice should be similarly age blind. I'm not what most people — certainly not my husband — would describe as a romantic.
Regular exposure to the crimes that fellow humans commit against those they purport to love tends to knock the scales from your eyes. That said, my mailbag is a clamouring cacophony from the misunderstood and under-appreciated, not necessarily the wronged and the righteous.
So first of all let me congratulate you on your 40 years of coupledom. You're no fly-by-night fair-weather lover attracted by the idea of a committed relationship but running speedily in the opposite direction as soon as the going gets tough. If you saw how many letters from the latter I'm in receipt of, you might take pride in your achievement.
What can you respond to someone who says: It's hardly a good innings when nano seconds previously in universal time you've sworn devotion until "death do us part". You know better than most the peaks and troughs of living a compromise, which makes me wonder why the equilibrium you achieved is so galling now.
Surely it's the baggy middle period of a long-term relationship that's the worst; when romance has faded but responsibilities are at their peak children, mortgage, career, etcso you both feel aggrieved and under-cherished. If you struggle through those brutal decades when simple survival leaves little room for restlessness, shouldn't later years, when responsibilities diminish and your time is your own again, offer respite?
That's my hope anyway. I'm no advocate for keeping your head down and getting to your deathbed causing minimal waves, but having negotiated the tsunamis, tranquil waters must gain appeal as the years pass. Is this husband of yours not good for anything?
But isn't there a middle ground worth investigating first? Eventually that journey may take you too far from your domestic life to make the marriage sustainable, but at least it will be a gradual evolution rather than an act of anger and frustration that you could live to regret.
3 Ways to Know if Your Relationship Is Holding You Back - wikiHow
You do not live with your mistress, you don't share finances, daily chores, you don't encroach on one another's space, you don't see as many of each other's little irritating or annoying habits.
You don't have to put up with each other's "issues". You don't get "screwed" when the other person does something that seriously affects you too. These are the problems that come with being officially married to someone because when you're married you entangle your personal life and space with your spouse.
Stuck in a quandary between my wife and my married mistress - relationship advice
In an affair, you are protected by a huge buffer zone from the other person's "issues. The attraction is there, and there is a wealth of potential.
But it's still just the beginning and that's all it is - potential. If you weren't married and your mistress wasn't married, then for sure you SHOULD pursue a real relationship with her if you're hitting it off together so well, because clearly there is potential. You and her really could turn out to be happily married.
Or, it might go the way of so many other relationship and eventually end once you entwine your lives together for real. It doesn't matter at the beginning of the relationship because you are free to pursue it and develop it and see where it leads and that decision involves no one else except you two.
No one else is getting hurt if two single and available people want to pursue a real relationship. But to make the assumption that your affair relationship is anything more than just potential, to claim that it is the REAL thing compared to your marriage, is incorrect.Feeling STUCK?! Here’s how to BREAK FREE - Dreams Around The World