Her Story: I Was in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship | HuffPost
This is Sophie's own story 'Recognising an abusive relationship – 8 things I it comes to violence and controlling behaviour in teen relationships, and I think. It was the night before Valentine's Day during my freshman year of college and I lay in my dorm room watching the clock. With every breath I. 10 Things These Women Who Escaped Abusive Relationships Want You to Know do it purposefully because it gives them the control in the relationship that they want. (Want an uplifiting story of surviving years of abuse?).
During my pregnancy I was beaten and raped several times.
One time triggered premature labour. I asked him to call me an ambulance. He threw the cordless phone at my back while I was hunched over the toilet vomiting and told me to call my own ambulance. I passed out on the floor. When I woke I could hear him snoring in bed.
This was when I knew I had to leave, but I just wasn't strong enough at the time.7 signs you're in a controlling relationship
The abuse continued until I discovered he was having several affairs. When he knew I had discovered this he packed a bag and left the house.
Our son was months old, our two daughters were three and six.
My husband enjoyed partying every opportunity he got and I cared for the children full time. Once he decided he had enough of the party life he tried to reconcile with me.
I did not want to reconcile and this made him very angry. For three solid months he threatened and stalked me. He told me he would make me pay, he would take the children from me, he would kill me. He would sneak around outside at night, follow me in borrowed vehicles, call at all hours of the day and night and completely cut us off financially. I got an AVO from the local police station and this enraged him further. The harassment escalated and I became extremely fearful. The police said I had to have proof of him breaching the AVO or it was his word against mine.
Some breaches were proven but he always got let off with warnings and good behaviour bonds when it went to court. This went on for months and I fled interstate with the three children. He continued to harass me and threaten me and after two months managed to get the court to order me to return the children, the magistrate said that the alleged violence and my fear were of no consequence and I could send the children back to their father or return with them within 30 days.
We returned to town and were placed into a safe house with personal alarms that linked to the police station. My husband continued to harass me and by this stage was not even denying the violence toward me any more; he just said I had to accept it. I enrolled in university where I managed to earn a degree. He told me I would never be able to do it, I was too stupid. The harassment continued with me reporting to the police, who rarely did anything about it. The harassment finally eased off after about three years when I met a new man who initially was just a friend for a long time.
We eventually married and then my ex-husband began a hate campaign against me and my new husband with the children.
There were several custody hearings over this period where he continued to be noncompliant with the family court orders.
The children were told that they did not have to do anything that mum or stepdad said, that they were a joke. My husband and I had a child together and my older three children were told by their father that the baby was not their sister, that I didn't want them anymore because I had my perfect family now and other lies. This made relationships in the house strained and once the children were old enough to take care of themselves my ex husband began campaigning to have the children live with him full-time.
After many tears and fights this was accomplished and once they were under his roof he made it very difficult for me to contact them. One month after our son went to live with him, he assaulted my husband while he was dropping the kids back after a visit. The assault was completely unprovoked and took us by surprise. He did this in front of all the children.
The hole in her self-esteem had not formed spontaneously. It happened one dagger at a time, and she learned that the blade got sharper and the cut went deeper each time she returned to him once more. But, there was no button to be found, no lifeline to phone and no one was coming to sweep in and save her from this nightmare.
Brook | Recognising an abusive relationship: Sophie's story
That girl was me. There was a time the story would not have read so tragic. In fact, in the beginning, I convinced myself that maybe it was magic. The earliest indications of odd behavior began with him showing up at my apartment late at night and unannounced.
It was easy to romanticize it. I had always valued my privacy and independence, but I suppose in those early moments I valued my desire to be so overwhelmingly desired even more. Before long began the paranoid questions, always partnered with that famous look of suspicion in his eyes. Eventually, it progressed to him grabbing my hand in anger, which led to my fingernail painfully dangling from its bed.
Not long after, I found myself branded with a carpet burn on my forearm from him pulling me across the floor when in a fit of rage. Then came the holes in my wall. He went to war against anything which stole a solitary second of my attention from him.
MY STORY: A shocking tale from an abusive relationship
He was even resentful of my homework. Most of the abuse was verbal. Once he rattled my car keys in my face as I attempted to escape another one of his seemingly never-ending and mocking rants. There appeared to be little more than a hypnotizing darkness which seemed to stretch on for miles. Then there was the time he purposely put his foot in front of my tire as I tried to drive away.
It was clear he wanted to be injured. He wore his swollen toe like a badge of honor. He gobbled it up like Thanksgiving dinner. I could almost smell the nauseating gloat. Every episode was always followed by something poetically explosive.
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He wrote songs for me and sang them with tears in his eyes. It was a roller coaster.