How to Build a Stronger Relationship with Your Partner: 5 Steps
Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. How good are the relationships that you have with your colleagues? According to the Gallup Organization, people who have a best friend at work are seven. How to Build a Healthy Relationship. Healthy relationships allow you to express your individuality (both with and without your partner), bring out the best in both.
To do this we dig deeper and ask questions. We repeat back to them what they said in our own words to make sure what we heard makes sense to us. This deepens the relationship and places us in the category of people they want to seek out and talk to. This tells us they are paying attention to us, and we all want that. When someone is speaking, focus not only on the tone of their words, but also their facial expression and body language. This will open doors to having deeper, more meaningful conversations that will lead to developing trust and stronger connections.
They will tell us what is important in their lives, all we need to do is listen and pay attention.
When they are speaking about a family member, an event, or a hobby and their faces light up, remember this factoid, as it is important to them. Some people known for building relationships keep a small portfolio of important information on significant people in their lives so they will have a written record to refer to in order to the keep facts accurate.
Be Consistent And Manage Emotions People whose mood swings from hot to cold have a difficult time creating meaningful relationships. Respect Your Partner's Rights. It is unrealistic to expect or demand that that he or she have the same priorities, goals, and interests as you.
Be Prepared to "Fight Fair. Healthy couples fight, but they "fight fair" - accepting responsibility for their part in a problem, admitting when they are wrong, and seeking compromise. Additional information about fair fighting can be found here. Fighting Fair Maintain the Relationship. Most of us know that keeping a vehicle moving in the desired direction requires not only regular refueling, but also ongoing maintenance and active corrections to the steering to compensate for changes in the road.
A similar situation applies to continuing relationships. While we may work hard to get the relationship started, expecting to cruise without effort or active maintenance typically leads the relationship to stall or crash! Though gifts and getaways are important, it is often the small, nonmaterial things that partners routinely do for each other that keep the relationship satisfying.
Outside Pressures on the Relationship Differences in Background. Even partners coming from very similar cultural, religious, or economic backgrounds can benefit from discussing their expectations of how a good boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse behaves.
What seems obvious or normal to you may surprise your partner, and vice versa. If you are from different backgrounds, be aware that you may need to spend more time and energy to build your relationship. Take the time to learn about your partner's culture or religion, being careful to check out what parts of such information actually fit for your partner. Time Together and Apart.
How much time you spend together and apart is a common relationship concern. If you interpret your partner's time apart from you as, "he or she doesn't care for me as much as I care for him or her," you may be headed for trouble by jumping to conclusions.
Check out with your partner what time alone means to him or her, and share your feelings about what you need from the relationship in terms of time together. Demanding what you want, regardless of your partner's needs, usually ends up driving your partner away, so work on reaching a compromise.
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For many students, families remain an important source of emotional, if not financial, support during their years at the university. Some people find dealing with their partner's family difficult or frustrating. It can help to take a step back and think about parental good intentions. Families may offer well-intentioned advice about your relationship or your partner. It's important that the two of you discuss and agree on how you want to respond to differing family values and support one another in the face of what can be very intense "suggestions" from family.
There are some people who seem to believe that "I have to give up all my friends unless my partner likes them as much as I do.Tony Robbins - how To Create a Strong intimate Relationship and Improve your Love Life
At the same time, keep in mind that your partner may not enjoy your friends as much as you do. Negotiate which friends you and your partner spend time with together. Let one another know what your needs are. Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside of the relationship.
Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences between your ideal mate and the real person you are dating. Try to see things from the other's point of view.
In other words, we make things out to be a lot worse than they should be.
Now of course, the reality of our predicament might actually be very different. The problem we face may in fact be quite an insignificant minor mishap.
However, because we indulge in the habit of catastrophizing, we always make problems larger than life, which of course makes them incredibly difficult to overcome. In order to successfully work through this cognitive distortion, question whether things are truly as bad as you make them out to be.
That is when I know you will love me.
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In other words, you are essentially using a past event to predict the future. In order to successfully work through this cognitive distortion, question whether evidence exists that suggests things could be different. I am so ready to be your friend, your companion and your guide as we walk this journey together toward creating a better life. Now of course, how we label things often mirrors our internal belief systems.
In fact, the more we tend to label something, the stronger the belief systems at play. This is unhelpful because our labels are often based on past experiences and personal opinions, rather than on hard facts and evidence. These statements put undue pressure on you, and on other people to meet your high personal standards and expectations in specific situations.
In order to successfully work through this cognitive distortion, question whether things must be done a certain way.
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Therefore how we feel about something effectively shapes how we perceive and interpret the situation we find yourself in. This is of course unhelpful because it means that our mood always influences how we experience the world around us.
Our emotions therefore effectively become a barometer for how we view our life and circumstances. In order to successfully work through this cognitive distortion, question whether your emotional state-of-mind is preventing you from seeing things clearly. In other words, you are effectively devaluing yourself, while at the same time putting the other person on a pedestal. Having humility is of course a wonderful thing, but not to the detriment of your own self-esteem.