7 Suggestions For Saving Your Sinking Relationship
7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship. Forgo the negative emotions keeping you from true forgiveness. Remind yourself that whatever. Recall those early days of your relationship when your partner could not get enough of you. He or she would call constantly, stay on the phone. Relationships aren't difficult. They're really not. People are difficult. People make things overly complicated. They screw up and make mistakes.
Is your primary intention to protect yourself from your fears with some form of controlling behavior such as anger, blame, criticism, withdrawal of love, threats, compliance or resistance? Is having power over your partner and winning more important to you than being loving to yourself and your partner?
Do you make your partner responsible for your feelings? Are you more devoted to getting love and avoiding rejection, rather than to mutuality, caring and sharing love? Or is your primary intention to learn about loving yourself and your partner?
Are you more devoted to mutuality, caring and sharing love than to being right, winning, having your way or making your partner responsible for your feelings? Is learning more important to you than whether or not you receive approval? Basic to all the other rules is being in the intent to learn about loving yourself and others. If your primary intent is to protect yourself from pain and rejection with controlling behavior, you will have no chance of improving your relationship.
You will continue to create the very problems you are attempting to avoid with your controlling behavior. Let go of the past. Hanging on to old grievances is part of the intent to protect.
Blaming your partner for your pain rather than taking responsibility for whatever choices you made that resulted in your unhappiness. Disengage from conflict as soon as one person is not open to learning. There is no point in trying to talk out problems and issues unless both people are open to learning.
Do You Need Couples Counseling? Keep your eyes on your own plate, sharing only about yourself and your own learning. Let go of analyzing or defining your partner.
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Let go of interrogating questions that are really attacks. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. After her husband died, I watched my year-old next door neighbor live out halfhearted days in quiet sobs. During one of my visits to her home, she confessed that she spent equal parts of her marriage frustrated as she did happy.
Her pride was not in that she had found a relationship, but in that she had kept it for so long. And the only secret to an everlasting marriage, she revealed, was this: Quick are we to think, "He's no good, I'll dump him and find someone else. We are taught to be independent, and this is an incredible discipline; we are self-made and self-sustainable.
But taken to the extreme, this attitude is guaranteed to interfere in our relationships. No one can be exchanged for anyone else.
7 Ideas to Help Save Your Sinking Relationship
Your partner is not a pair of pants you picked up at Macy's. Your partner was placed in your life for a greater reason in divine timing. He or she is a human being brimming with flaws and awful failings Beware of abandoning someone just because they require a bit of inner repair work.
This is not to say that you should ever settle for an unhealthy situation, but a successful relationship entails honest work and the payoff can be extraordinarily rewarding in terms of not just finding, but keeping, long-term love. If you believe you can sift through people until you find the perfect package, you will remain highly disappointed throughout your relationships.
You may find someone different, perhaps a bit better, but who will still need "fixing. And each person we encounter will test our capacity for sacrifice, compromise, patience, and tolerance. A real relationship that endures through time is one in which you have poured forth more love and understanding than you ever thought possible of you. It's admirable to believe in the unique power of your relationship, and even wiser to realize that no, you won't magically stumble upon a fairytale romance.
If you currently find yourself in a relationship that's weak, broken, or on the brink of collapse, but that you believe deserves your effort, don't give up. Consider these seven ways to save your struggling relationship: Re-evaluate the reasons you're together.
7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship | HuffPost Life
Go back to the beginning. What drew me to this person to begin with? What qualities did they possess that I found valuable? What made them so amazing? And are they still? Reevaluating the reasons you came together reminds you of the reasons to stay together, and this strengthens your already-existing foundation. Ask your partner what they love and don't love about you; be open to constructive criticism and self-improvement.
There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate. The right way is asking your partner a relevant question, listening to their response, then offering your opinion. The wrong way is overwhelming your partner with your irritations and worries as soon as they walk in from a particularly long workday. Practice effective speech by engaging your loved one in a conversation of their interest.
Ask questions that matter to them; people open up when you inquire about their day, an important project, their feelings, etc. Once you've listened to what they have to say, offer your side of the story. Stay away from heavy conversations in stressful times, and especially in the heat of emotion.
Calm down, then approach the topic again. Don't just sound off with your concerns; delve to the core of the matter by drawing your partner into the dialogue first. Do something special together.