Love and hate relationship with spouse

Why have a Love Hate Relationship? - GREAT LIFE ZONE

love and hate relationship with spouse

Most of us have heard of men who both love and hate women. They are called misogynists. Jessica's daughter might be married to one of them. If you're living through a love hate relationship, it doesn't make you a bad person. Your partner and you could seriously love each other, but nevertheless, both of. Why do people in relationships argue so much? Maybe, when you care about someone, you want to prove yourself to them.

Therefore, to some extent it is a healthy conflict. However a love hate relationship is a deteriorated version of a relationship between two partners where there are serious issues between two incompatible personalities leading to conflicts which are here to stay. While individually two of you may be lovely and charming personalities but together it is like petrol and fire.

Unlike the first kind of relationship, in a love hate relationship the anger and frustration is much more than the love, romance and happiness. But before you rush to take a decision or even label your relationship as a love hate relationship, you need to get some more information and gather some facts for yourself.

What do you Love him for? It could be one or more of the following reasons, in some combination unique to you: He may be tall, handsome, drive a luxury car like Mercedes Benz or BMW and has many girls eyeing at him.

7 Signs You’re In A Love-Hate Relationship And 7 Ways To Fix It

He may be very well educated, witty and has a successful career. He has a clear focus on his goals and seems to be on the right path of success — having already achieved a few mile stones. He really enjoys life and dotes on you. There are certain qualities and traits about him that you downright love and adore.

Therefore, you are still hopeful that things will once again become great and harmonious. Your parents have approved of him too and think that together both of you will have a great life. So these are certain qualities and traits about him that you absolutely love and adore.

What do you hate him for?

love and hate relationship with spouse

While you love some parts of him or his personality, there are other parts of him that you hate so much that you are suffocated. You hate these things so much that you wonder that what made you fall in love with him at the first place.

You may be thinking that there can be much better guys than him. Again following could be some of the reasons, in some combination unique to you: Relationship, family and future planning on these aspects is his last priority.

Hygienically, there is a lot which is desired of him and his habits. He often has streaks of laziness. He spends way too much time on phone chatting people up or wastes too much time on Face book.

His extravagant life style scares the hell out of you.

love and hate relationship with spouse

The idea of an emergency hitting you like a bolt from you and he not having any savings is a wrong way of living the life. But he does not pay any heed to you.

He always listens to his mother, no matter how wrong she could be. Why the partner wants to remain in love hate relationship It is a difficult question to answer because there can be many unique reasons.

It may be akin to some kind of comfort one is deriving out of it despite the unpleasantness. Just like a person indulging in an addiction knowing very well that it is bad for health.

The sum total of benefits of remaining in the relationship is far greater than breaking or ending the relationship. You could be very forgiving by nature or this is the value you have been brought up with.

  • Quote of the day
  • Here are 10 signs that you are in a love-hate relationship:
  • Google Translate

Leaving conflicts unresolved adds to your misery and confusion in the relationship. You hate things about your partner. While you do love some things about your partner, there are other things you just can't stand. Every time you want to recommit to your love for your partner, you have this nagging inner voice reminding you that there's a serious disconnect.

Maybe you have talked to your partner about these areas you dislike, but nothing seems to change. Your partner either passively or overtly continues with the same behaviors or choices. As you eventually realize your partner will never change, you feel increasingly frustrated and hopeless. Maybe they see something you can't see. Maybe there's a trick to this relationship thing that you're missing. Maybe they know how you can jump off this crazy emotional treadmill.

You and your partner can't communicate openly about the problem.

Love-Hate Relationship (10 Signs You're In One)

It's impossible for you to open up to him or her and talk through the issues you have without it devolving into all-out warfare. Your only option is to release your anxieties by talking to others, even though you know it might hurt or anger your partner.

You keep your options open. Once you find someone who doesn't have those disagreeable qualities you hate in your partner, you plan to jump ship. If you see your partner as being easily replaceable, you're not in the relationship for the right reasons. The thrill of reuniting after intense arguments is beginning to wane, and now you are left with the messy truth.

In fact, you may begin to focus more and more on the qualities you hate in your partner in order to compel yourself to leave — or to push your partner out the door. You feel a sense of relief when it's over.

Maybe you've been in a love-hate relationship in the past, and once it ended, you felt enormous relief. At one point in the relationship, the thought of it being over would have devastated you — even when you had those extreme ups and downs. The highs were so fierce that you were almost addicted to them. But as time wore on, the highs diminished. The reunions were tinged with bitterness and regret. The lack of a real, intimate connection left you both feeling depleted and empty.

love and hate relationship with spouse

Participants did a standard computer task that measures how quickly they respond to certain directions. Their job was to categorize the target words as positive or negative as quickly as possible by pushing the correct button. If we are thinking about something pleasant when a positive word pops up, we are quicker to categorize it as positive; but when a negative word pops up, we are slower to put it in the negative category.

Likewise, if we are thinking about something unpleasant, we will be slower to categorize positive words and quicker for negative ones. Great, because here is where it gets interesting.

7 Signs You’re In A Love-Hate Relationship And 7 Ways To Fix It | MadameNoire

Take a look at the graph below. The bars on the left side of the graph show the typical response using positive and negative objects, such as sunsets and spiders, where positive objects only affect positive target words and negative objects only affect negative target words.

Thus, people feel both positively and negatively toward those they love. This may not surprise you.

love and hate relationship with spouse

Feeling negatively towards your partner does not mean that you are doing something wrong or that you are in the wrong relationship. Why does this study matter?