10 Tips to Make New Friends | Personal Excellence
Skout works on preferences and proximity, much like a dating app but for friends. You can use it to meet new people, no matter where you are. Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on. “Hi Celes, I have a small group of friends as I'm a shy person. I'm not really confident enough to go out and meet new people. I would like some advice on how I.
But it can also feel like a much lonelier place, too, with it being hard to cultivate local relationships. Sure, you can sign up to a dating app or site, but what if you just want to make new friends? Meetup Free Meetup works across thousands of cities. Its aim is to help bring together groups of people that have common interests.
By signing up, you can immediately check out what your local area has to offer. Nextdoor Free Want to get to know your neighbors more easily but never seem to run into them? Nextdoor is the perfect alternative.
Friends lend us ideas, books, clothes, suitcases and time. This is another great way to feel out a new friendship. Have a book you love?
Learn How to Make Friends As An Adult Using These 5 Steps
Offer to loan it to them. My friend Samantha was wearing the most beautiful shawl—it looked so warm and fuzzy! If you know something that might help someone else, offer to teach them. Are you a whiz with resumes? Offer to edit it for your new friend. Are you a great cook? Have a cooking day with a new friend if they are trying to learn their way around a kitchen.
I started a Spanish vegetarian cooking club exactly this way. Seven of us got together because we all were trying to practice our high school Spanish and learn to cook more vegetarian. We all go through hard times. It might be you, it might be your new friend. You want foul weather and fair weather friends—those who are with you through the good times and the bad.
This is a great way to know the depth of your potential friendship. I never will forget a time with my friend Lacy in the beginning of our friendship. Speaking of weddings, I was having a momentary freak out about my wedding dress. I was sure I had picked the wrong one. I hear this is normal. Anyway, I called her in the middle of the day and asked her if she would be willing to come with me while I tried on my wedding dress one last time.
She took the workday afternoon off, schlepped across town with me and sat with me, being so incredibly supportive as I made her examine it from every which angle. Yes, it was the right one. Yes, she is my best friend today.
Dating Now comes the serious part. You have someone you like and slowly have been courting them. Most importantly, you want to know if you are good for each other. Over the next few weeks, go through more of the wooing steps and ask yourself these three essential questions: Could you be locked in an elevator with this person? Are they genuinely happy for you when something good happens to you?
Toxic relationships happen when we secretly have ill wishes for someone or they have them for us. They get jealous, they get judgy, they get controlling. You can be different, but you have to love each other for your differences. This is the most amazing, fulfilling, mushy-gushy part of friendships. However, if you're only a little unsure, give it a chance.
Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you've got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy. If you're more of a shy or solitary person it's easy to mull over an invite and rationalize that it won't be that fun and that you shouldn't go. Try to push past those thoughts and go anyway. You often can't be sure how enjoyable something will be until you show up and see for yourself.
Sometimes you'll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life. You may get invited to a movie you only half want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you're about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out.
Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you're going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances.
Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they're planning an event will think, "Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really.
10 Tips to Make New Friends
Once you've got some budding friendships, keep in touch, keep hanging out, and let the relationship grow It's one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally. You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that's all you need in a relationship with them, someone you're casually friendly with and who you see every now and then.
However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. You won't have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet.
I talk about developing friendships way more in this article: How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships Once you know some people, build on this foundation Once you've made a regular friend or two you've also got a good base to work from.
If you're not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away.
Sooner or later you'll end up meeting your friend's friends. If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time. You can also continue to meet entirely new people. Having friends will make this easier as they'll do things like invite you to parties or keep you company in places where there are new people to potentially meet. Repeat the above steps more often to make more friends If you join one new club, hit it off with three people there, and end up hanging out with two of them long term, then you've made two new friends.
If you stop there then that's all you'll have. If week after week you're coming up with new ways to meet people, and then following up and attending lots of get togethers, then you'll have a pile of friends and acquaintances eventually. It's up to you when you feel like stopping. There's no law that says everyone has to have dozens of people in their social circle either. Many people are perfectly happy only having a few really close relationships.
If you only have a couple of friends and decide you want more though, you can always get out there again. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training. Now I'll go into some broader concepts that apply to making friends as a whole. I think the points below are just as important as the stuff I've covered already, if not more so.
If you want a social life, you've got to make it happen for yourself A huge, core principle when it comes to building a social life is: It's a big mistake to passively wait for other people to do the work of befriending you. It's great if it happens, but don't count on it. If you want to get a group of friends, assume you'll have to put in all the effort. If you want to do something on the weekend, don't sit around and hope someone texts you. Get in touch with various people and put something together yourself, or find out what they're doing and see if you can come along.
Don't worry too much about seeming desperate or needy. Take the attitude that it's about you and you'll do what needs to be done to make some friends.
Who cares if a handful of people think you're a bit too eager along the way if it all eventually works out?
It's a lot like dating or trying to find a new job. What you get out of these things depends a lot on how much you put into them. Don't take it personally if people seem indifferent to you Other people are often harmlessly thoughtless and preoccupied in the sense that they'd be happy if they hung out with you, but they wouldn't think to ask you themselves. Sometimes you have to take an interest in them before you appear on their radar.
Similarly, some people are more lax and laid back than you'd like about returning your emails or calls. They're not consciously trying to reject you. They're just a little more loosey-goosey about that stuff than most. Don't feel making friends is super tricky If you're inexperienced with making friends, you may see the process as being more drawn-out and complex than it really is. Often all you have to do to make a friend is meet someone you naturally click with and hang around with them enough.
You also don't have to know them for months before applying the 'friend' label to them. One characteristic of more social people is that they'll throw the word friend around pretty loosely when describing their relationships. But it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure, if you've just met someone it may not be a deep, intimate relationship, but you can still hang out with them and have a good time.
If you're trying to build a whole new social life from scratch, don't be overly picky about who you hang out with at first If you're lonely your initial goal should just be to get some sort of social life going.