We're the Millers () - Spider Bite
Mar 19, Spider bit me David, on my balls, on my balls, on my balls. The Millers. my balls , on my balls. The Millers We're the Millers (). Get it on. A page for describing GroinAttack: Film. A weak attack, the mother from A Christmas Story hefts a heavy round present into the father's lap. In a high voice . Aug 3, Dennis Miller's rant on the Middle East crisis. Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there were no “Palestinians” then, and the as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the “Palestinians,” 8 December - If you're looking for seasonal employment, this perennial holiday meme isn't for you.
Malcolm, you're bullying me and Don't you ever, ever call me a bully. I'm so much worse than that. Don't you work for somebody famous? It's, er, Peter Onion, isn't it?
I always forget, were you the forced abortion or the love child? Or the one who asphyxiated himself with a kiwi? Just the love child. I was the quiet one. Like John Deacon in Queen.
Your meltdown was witnessed by 1. That's more people than saw Al Jolson in his entire career. And that's Al fucking Jolson! He loves Al Jolson. And then I'll plug some speakers up your arse and put it on shuffle with my fucking fist! And every time I hear something that I don't like, which will be every time that something comes on, I will skip to the next track to Swain by crushing YOUR balls!
To Phil I will be so not sorry to not ever have to talk to you again, you massive floppy blonde tit. I hope your blog gets done for libel and you get knobbed in prison by men. To Emma And it is over, you self-serving, crypto-fascist, horse-loving, posh, weekend at daddy's, vacuous nothing! Spinners and Losers[ edit ] Angela: So go on, tell me: Ollie in the men's toilets: No one's gonna stand against Tom now, surely, it's going to be unopposed. Starts using the urinal They'll be rebranding him as we speak, I would imagine: Er no, that's the flush of the automatic urinals, it's a gentlemen's lavatory.
I don't want to talk to you while you're holding your penis. Well, that's not what you used to say, Angela. Er, yes it is. No, well — actually it is precisely what you used to say. Has anybody seen Jamie? Why, have you lost him? Oh, don't tell me he's gone feral, 'cause he was fucking terrifying when you had him on the leash!
Film / Groin Attack - TV Tropes
Easy for you to say, he threatened to shove an iPod up my cock! But you get that a lot, though, don't you? You don't think he's got a chance, do you? Nah, he's just a droid, isn't he?
He's just — makes robotic noises and gestures Malcolm: Hey hey hey, don't let him hear you doing that sort of stuff. What happens if he does stand a chance, eh? He'll fuck you harder than Ron Jeremyand with less warmth. Are you a horse? Are you a fucking horse? Okay, no, I'm not a horse. You've got a pretty fucking horsey face Okay, leaving the wife aside for a second— Jamie: You are not a fucking horse. You are no horse, and you're not a stalking horse. And we are going to ram you up Tom's arse so hard that he has to shit out of his lying mouth.
It's not a very nice image. Right, Ollie's our source on this, is he? Yeah, I know you don't rate him. You can say that again; Ollie Reeder is, to quote Bobby Kennedy, a complete fucking spasmoloid. Plus you know how Geoff Holhurst photographs: Just something solid, all right? Otherwise our front page is gonna be an interview with Janet Street-Porter on why she hasn't been asked to be Prime Minister and a giant fucking Sudoku.
Well look, I'd love to stop and chat to you, but you know, I'd rather have type 2 diabetes. Yes, fuck you, Malcolm. Yeah, Happy New Year. Jamie to Malcolm and Nick Hanway: Well I'm sorry to burst into your little fucking boutique, but you've got a fight on your hands.
That's all I'm saying. I'm backing a rival candidate, to Malcolm so fuck you, to Nick and fuck you and your Nutter coronation 'cause it ain't happening.
Picture memes KeT5zOki2 by ViralWall: K comments - iFunny :)
So you're backing Dan Miller, are you? No, I'm not backing Dan Miller! Don't you fucking ever ask me a question again! Oh aye, Fatty, yeah, wee Spider-Man pyjamas, fucking idiot. From now on, it's a proper fight: He can barely even walk properly. He looks like he shat himself the whole time. You are going to bury this Watford arseache tonight, OK? I want pages four and five to be a timeline of the last few years in British politics with me at the centre, looking fucking indispensable, and fucking benign.
Look, I just have to say at this point that I do find him just a little bit frightening. Relax, he has never hit anyone. Or at least, anyone he has hit has never had the balls to take it to a superior.
Robyn still looks terrified It's a fucking joke. It's a joke, OK? The man is a professional, you will be fine. We still have no word on Dan Miller. I mean, he's gone dark, he's not answering his phone — Malcolm: Maybe he's in a hotel with his own huddle. Ring around, try and find him. What, ring every hotel in London and ask if Dan Miller's booked in? Although he could be using an assumed name. So you want me to ring round every hotel in London, and ask if anyone, of any name, has booked in?
Well it will keep you busy, you know, you need to keep the mind active at your age. OK, the line is: Nobody gives a shit if you got shafted by Malcolm. I will never ever forgive him for what he did to me. Jesus, this isn't EastEnders!
We're all in the same plague pit, Cliff, there's no clean hands. What's that sort of droning noise in the background there? What, kind of boring, kind of low, sort of droning, boring, kind of miserable, whining, boring kind of, sort of boring noise going on? Yeah, well you've got it wrong, yeah? Was the Cillit Bang guy not available? Oh fuck off, Cliff.
A Brief Overview of the Situation
You're a busted flush! You're not gonna be any Prime Minister, you're not gonna be anything, so fuck off! That's your thing, isn't it? Everything has to be in absolutes, everything has to be black and white. You know, "I love you -fuck off! I know that, I'm looking at fifteen of them right now!
You've got this bullshit Watford story covered, yeah? You and I will have a little discussion later. I think Watford will get bumped by the fact that we're about to hand the nuclear codes to a guy who, every now and then, loses it so bad he needs satnav to find his own nipples. What are you talking about? Well, I just thought it was fair to let everyone know about the Tom rumours, you know.
How the guy that's about to become Prime Minister chugs antidepressants like they're fucking Smints. How the Black Dog humps his leg and shits in his duvet every four months; I think that will bump the Watford walkout. You've gone fucking psycho son, fucking psycho! Why don't I get something in?
A man cannot live on Jaffa Cakes alone, obviously. I need you over there with a fucking blowtorch, right now! They don't have a plan.
Perhaps you should give them one. Yes, fantastic actually, Malcolm, because obviously I have a very suitable one tattooed on the underside of my scrotum, so-- Malcolm: You're using all the minutes on my "Talk until you get head cancer" tariff!
What do you think? To be honest, I was really hoping that was going to be shit, because I'm tired, and I'd quite like to hit someone. I'm not leaving it to you. You couldn't organise a bum-rape in a barracks.
What the fuck is wrong with these people? I mean, what is this, potential leader speed dating? Right, who is standing? Adam Kenyon to another journalist working on a Ballentine story: Well, ditch that for a starter, get rid of her, I can't stand her fucking face.
You know, I think you should eat something. Eat something, that'd be right, wouldn't it? You know what, our coverage so far has either been wrong or guesswork, which was wrong. So all we have now is a story-shaped hole! Seriously, your blood sugar's low. Makes you very irritable. No, what makes me very irritable, Angela, is having no fucking stories and having to fill an entire newspaper with just fucking prepositions!
Malcolm On the phone to Adam Kenyon: If you do think about running with this pill story, I'll personally fucking eviscerate you, right? I mean, I don't have your education, I don't know what that means. But I'll start by ripping your cock off and I'll busk it from there. I'm just gonna go make some nuisance calls, I'll see you in about half a — Stop fucking blinking! Or I will take your optic nerve and strangle you with it.
You look after him, Ollie, OK? He's a very important man. Cock like a caber. What's the news, just — Angela Heaney: Just tell me what the fucking news is and I'll put it on the front page.
It's not like we're The Independentwe can't just stick a headline saying 'Cruelty' and then stick a picture of a dolphin or a whale underneath it.
I mean, that's just fucking cheating, that's rubbish. Well, what I'm hearing is Ben Swain. Right, I literally don't know who he is. I'm not being stupid or anything, but I physically don't know who Ben Swain is. I just felt sorry for her, really. Poor lady, but she was very sweet about it. That scene felt so much longer for all of us.
It was so awkward. You do it again and again because of the camera angles and takes and whatnot. All the anything is totally drained out of it. You have another exciting film coming out. I play this guy called Gally, who is one of the older, more experienced kids in the Glade, which is this manufactured wilderness that these boys are trapped in by foot walls.
It was really fun to do. Did you read young adult books when you were a teenager? Not really, I barely read. Rather than reading, I used to sit in front of the TV and watch black-and-white cowboy movies. It takes me like an average of three hours to read a script, which is pretty poor. You went to the same school in London as Robert Pattinson.We're the millers - Kenny's funny moments
Is it a performing arts school? We had two awesome drama teachers—Laura Lawson and Simon Parker. Laura in particular was amazing to me—she believed in me so much, far more than I did. Drama was at least something I loved and was really passionate about. She got me my first audition, which happened to be an independent movie called Son of Rambow, which ended up getting bought by Paramount and went to Sundance. It must have been difficult auditioning after that—when your only experience is success.
So you can imagine how many times you hear no. I love the process of auditioning and having the chance to play a million different characters in one week. The waiting room is interesting. During the big brawl in Rock Ridge, the preacher knees a mook in the groin, then calls out "Forgive me, Lord! Not in the face! Taggart complies by punching him in the groin, at which the director whimpers "thank you" before passing out from the pain. During their shootout in the movie theater Sheriff Bart shoots Hedley Lamaar in the groin.
In Bordello of Blood near the beginning Caleb uses his friend Reggie as a human dartboard he hits him in the balls with one. In The Brady Bunch Movie, a bully that was picking on Peter gets hit in the crotch when Peter steps on a bass drum pedal. Another character is pissing on a zombie's grave when a hand shoots out and Happens twice to Comedic Hero 'Bullshot' Crummond — once when he slides backwards down a stairway banister and so doesn't see the knob on the end of the railing and the second time while he's taking off his jacket thus binding his arms to engage a Combat Pragmatist villain in the manly art of fisticuffs.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. After Harvey says that there are no rules in a knife fight, Butch kicks him right in the 'nads, rendering him helpless. The "I shoulda yelled ''two''! After gaining the upper hand in a violent bar-brawl beatdown, Alferd Packer unleashes the karate skills he learned from the chief of the Nihonjin tribe on evil trapper Frenchy Cabazon's balls.
For the remainder of the film, Frenchy speaks in a high pitched squeak rather than re-pitching his lines in post-production, the actor inhaled helium before each scene and nearly passed out several times from lack of oxygen. There's a near miss in Cap's fight with Batroc in Captain America: Cap gets kicked in the stomach and lands sitting, whereupon Batroc does a jumping kick with the weight of his whole body behind it; his heel slams down inches from Steve's red, white and blues.
They both spend a second gazing at this in surprisingly similar horror before popping to their feet and continuing to fight. The Cat in the Hat has this where the Cat poses as a pinata It Makes Sense in Contextto which one of the bigger kids brings a large wooden bat the other kids were utilizing plastic batsto which the Cat waves the white flag of surrender to the camera.
But since the big kid is behind him, he whacks the bat onto the Cat's scrotum, causing him to undergo a long period of pained yells and whoops and apparently entering a fantasy where he apparently " envied the crotchless " A scene in the Thai movie, Chai Lai Dangerous Flowers had the five female protagonists of the film battling against a couple of thugs while wearing nothing but towelsduring the course of which two of the thugs get their balls grabbed and kicked.
In an early s Cynthia Rothrock martial arts movie titled China O'Brien, the titular character of the movie, played by Rothrock, is confronted by a couple of guys at a local bar and as one of them attempts to have his way with her, China immediately grabs his right wrist with her own right hand so that she can immediately kick him in the groin, causing him to grip his crotch in a painful state so that he can walk a few steps forward before crashing upon the floor. Another early s Cynthia Rothrock martial arts movie, titled Lady Dragon, had Rothrock's character, Kathy Gallagher kicking the main antagonist, Ludwig Hauptman in the groin from within the final fight of the movie while its sequel which had Rothrock play a different character named Susan Morgan had her kicking one of Diego's henchmen, Jack in the nuts from within an elevator.
Say what you want about Clickbut there's one great scene where Adam Sandler's character repeatedly kicks a guy in the groin while time is stopped, and the minute time returns to normal, the poor sap practically ends up falling over in pain.
This trope allowed Gabe Walker Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger to stun the otherwise unbeatable Martial-Arts-Expert terrorist Kynette and then shove him into a stalactite above. In Clue when the house guests are confronting Mr. Boddy about the blackmail scheme, Mrs. White knees him in the groin. Continental Divide has a scene in which John Belushi is attacked by a mountain lion.
He survives - barely - by hitting the mountain lion in the groin with his walking stick this happens off screen though. Near the end of Crocodile DundeeSue rushes to the subway in an attempt to stop Dundee from leaving New York and during her sprint, she runs into a street hobo who refuses to let her pass, forcing Sue to quickly knee him in the groin so that she can continue on her way.
Deconstructed albeit still Played for Laughs as the impact is so violent that Watts vomits over the floor and himself. We are then treated to a closeup of Hank screaming impotently as his penis is ripped off of him off camera which presumably is what kills him, whether from blood loss or humiliation shock is debatable.
Problem is it's too silly to be taken seriously and Hank was too heroic for it to be Laser-Guided Karma because he wasn't really a jerk, thus he can't work as an Asshole Victimso the whole scene comes off as a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment that more than qualifies for Narm.
After having a conversation with his friend's father, who, as a generally mean-spirited old man, strangles his testicles, Norm walks out, pulls his tape recorder from his pocket, and says in a helium-voice, "Note to self: Forget about being a father. In the film adaptation of DragnetFriday and Steerback infiltrate a Pagan cult festival and is able to help rescue a young female virgin named Connie Swail. During the chaotic escape, one of the pagan cult members attempts to grab Connie, but she quickly takes him out with a fast knee to the nuts, saying that she's terribly sorry while he falls to the ground in a state of excruciating pain.
The Bar Brawl scene in The Dukes of Hazzard movie has one when Daisy sends a pool cue ball shooting from a fan into some poor schmuck's groin.
Lloyd Christmas has a fantasy sequence in Dumb and Dumber where he uses a villain's scrotum as a speedbag for a while. Then caps it off with a bite.
Doyle attacks Dutch, thinking he's an intruder, but in truth, Dutch was here to pick Doyle up from prep school for his mom. One of the attacks was to Dutch's groin. The daughter of the female lead used a stun gun on her boyfriend's balls.
Justified since he was being too forward with her even after she told him several times to stop. Another Mike Judge movie, Extractuses the loss of a testicle in an industrial accident as the event that sets the plot in motion. The Faculty has some high-school Jerk Jocks doing this to Casey Connor by running him legs-open into a flagpole. See the Real Life section concerning "posting. One of Ming's goon squad kicks Flash in the nuts before the "football game" begins.
Jason Freddy Krueger tries this on Jason Voorhees, but ends up hurting his foot. The Final NightmareTracy confronts Freddy from within the dream world and as Freddy insults her about her past, Tracy decides to kick him in the groin, stunning Freddy from within sight. In Friday After Nexta very painful version when Money Mike manages to temporarily stop a potential rape by Damon the aforementioned son from prison by using pliers to squeeze his testicles. Yes, it's as painful as it sounds.
In From BeyondCrawford knees a female nurse in the crotch, while trying to suck her eyeball out to get to her brains. From Dusk Till Dawn. Inverted with Sex Machine's crotch gun Rodan picks Godzilla up and drops him groin first onto a power line tower.
King Ghidorah blasts Godzilla in the crotch with his Gravity Beam.