Secret to Stop Worrying About Your Relationship | catchsomeair.us
Would you like to stop worrying and have a happier relationship? Here are 8 worries that can ruin relationships that you need to get rid of now. Don't Overanalyse The biggest mistake people make in relationships is to over- analyse. Don't think so much about the future. Enjoy the moment. Remember. We have a great relationship but I constantly worry that something will happen that will make us break up. I don't want to worry about this.
On many levels, both conscious and unconscious, we become scared of being hurt. To a certain degree, we all possess a fear of intimacy. Get out before you get hurt. It can promote hostile, paranoid and suspicious thinking that lowers our self-esteem and drives unhealthy levels of distrust, defensiveness, jealousy and anxiety.
Basically, it feeds us a consistent stream of thoughts that undermine our happiness and make us worry about our relationship, rather than just enjoying it. When we get in our heads, focusing on these worried thoughts, we become incredibly distracted from real relating with our partner. We may start to act out in destructive ways, making nasty comments or becoming childish or parental toward our significant other. For example, imagine your partner stays at work late one night.
Can you really believe her? She probably prefers being away from you.
3 Ways to Stop Over Thinking in a Relationship - wikiHow
You may act angry or cold, which then sets your partner off to feel frustrated and defensive. Instead of enjoying the time you have together, you may waste an entire night feeling withdrawn and upset with each other. When it comes to all of the things we worry ourselves about in relationships, we are much more resilient than we think.
In truth, we can handle the hurts and rejections that we so fear. We can experience pain, and eventually, heal. However, our critical inner voice tends to terrorize and catastrophize reality. It will completely distort reality and undermine our own strength and resilience. Just put your guard up and never be vulnerable to anyone else. When we feel anxious or insecure, some of us have a tendency to become clingy and desperate in our actions.
We may feel possessive or controlling toward our partner in response. Conversely, some of us will feel easily intruded on in our relationships. We may retreat from our partners, detach from our feelings of desire. We may act out by being aloof, distant or guarded. These patterns of relating can come from our early attachment styles.
6 Ways To Stop Stressing About Your Relationship And Fully Enjoy Life With Your Partner
Our attachment pattern is established in our childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. It influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. Different attachment styles can lead us to experience different levels of relationship anxiety. You can learn more about what your attachment style is and how it impacts your romantic relationships here.
What Thoughts Perpetuate Relationship Anxiety? The specific critical inner voices we have about ourselves, our partner and relationships are formed out of early attitudes we were exposed to in our family or in society at large.
Sexual stereotypes as well as attitudes that our influential caretakers had toward themselves and others can infiltrate our point of view and shade our current perceptions. Critical Inner Voices about the Relationship People just wind up getting hurt.
Relationships never work out. Men are so insensitive, unreliable, selfish. Women are so fragile, needy, indirect. He only cares about being with his friends. Why get so excited? She is too good for you.163 (Relationship): Worried About Getting Cheated On?
As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you. As we shed light into our past, we quickly realize there are many early influences that have shaped our attachment pattern, our psychological defenses and our critical inner voice. Was it something I said?
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Why do the guys I like always leave me? And just when the agony is at its peak…. And everything is fine! You cling to the relationship even tighter because you remember how miserable it felt when you thought you lost it and you vow not to do anything to screw this up.
Rather than reflexively panicking when something seems amiss, set a deadline.
Tell yourself that you will be fine with things for the time being, and if nothing changes in two weeks, then you can be upset about it and deal with it. Instead of getting angry about it, just give yourself a deadline. This little exercise will help you train your mind to stay calm and avoid spinning into a frenzy.
It will help you gain control over your thoughts and your mood, and this will be of major benefit to you and your relationship. And the funny thing is, whatever problem you wanted to get really upset about right away usually resolves itself before the deadline you set! Be present The biggest problem with stressing over your relationship is it takes you out of the relationship and brings you to a much more disturbing place.
Instead, just be present. Be right here, right now. Just enjoy it for what it is and let the process unfold organically. Being single is seen as something to be pitied, and being in a relationship is something to covet. As a result, a lot of us measure our worth by our relationship status.
Remember, only you can determine your own worth. You set the standard for how valuable you are. You do this by living a rich, fulfilling life filled with things you love. You do things that make you happy, you work on improving yourself, you develop your talents, you take care of yourself, you do things that tap into your essence and allow you to express your true self. This is how self-esteem is built.
If you wrap up your identity in what men think of you, or what your relationship status is, you will never ever feel satisfied. Instead, you need to have faith in yourself and trust that no matter what happens, you will be OK and you can handle whatever life throws at you. Stop wanting Wanting a relationship to be something other than what it is never pans out well. Instead, practice accepting the situation for what it is and enjoying it.
The fact is, the people who are most successful with relationships are people who have fun with relationships. Wanting in general causes problems. When you want, you immediately focus on a lack, you feel a void within yourself and you think a relationship will fill it. But you have to take the focus off the wanting which turns into needing and put it on the experiencing.
Focus on enjoying each moment of your life instead of questioning where it will lead. If you want a futurea part of your mind gets activated and plots and plans and thinks of ways things could go wrong.
You are in your head and while you might not be conscious of it, you are in agenda mode. You will instead be able to just enjoy the relationship and take it for what it is from one moment to the next.
This post originally appeared at A New Mode.