Power Struggles Damaging your Relationship? 5 Steps to Stop - Greenwood Village Couples Counseling
How to overcome the power struggle stage in your relationship: Somewhere between 2 months and 2 years into your relationship, the. Here are the 5 relationship stages: The Romance Stage; The Power Struggle Stage; The Stability Stage; The Commitment Stage; The Co-Creation or Bliss Stage. 5 days ago Join us for part three of an eight-part series on relationships based on Harville Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix, the power struggle . A very few couples – maybe 5% – resolve the power struggle and go on to.
Rather than respond with care, your partner can feel hurt and begin to build resentment toward you. In the end, you have an argument erupt and a gap that builds between you.
Why do you get into power struggles? The reason is simple. It is often easier to blame your partner than to ask for what you need or share our underlying feelings.
But, to ask for what we need in a soft way can feel like a scary thing to do. It can also feel quite scary to express the underlying feelings like hurt, worry, loneliness, etc.
Compare how risky it would be to say the angry things above vs. That would hurt me so much. Then I start to get overwhelmed by the idea of doing it alone, of not having the equal partnership I want where we can share responsibilities.
The Importance of the Power Struggle in Relationships - Exploring your mind
Instead of getting defensive or shutting downyour partner is more likely to respond to your hurt, correct your misconceptions and offer a caring response where you could feel your partner being there for you. The problem with a power struggle is that no one wins. We all make mistakes, slack off, or get off track. Conflict always escalates when couples get in a power struggle.
The Importance of the Power Struggle in Relationships
When you or your partner feel attacked, you become defensive, inviting defensiveness from the other. With both of you defending, the argument can quickly get heated. So how do you end power struggles? Write it down and start noticing. Whereas others will move on to the next stage - Power Struggle stage. The Power Struggle Stage the love hangover As mentioned that some couples break up when they hit the power struggle stage, only to discover that the same things repeat over and over again in their next relationship.
This is because they have false beliefs about love that there are ideal love and ideal partner, they incorrectly assume that when relationship comes to Power Struggle stage is because they are not compatible. They start to focus on partner's differences and flaws, unlike the Romance stage. Chances are, they aren't sure what are their partner's emotional needs.
See also how emotional needs play in relationships. When you are in Power Struggle stage, you will experience differentness and difficulty. Some people try to change their partner to the way they think should be, or they try to make their partner keeps what has been promised.
This stage can last from a few months to a few years. If you don't learn the needed skills like communication skill to communicate your needs and resolve differences, chances are you will keep returning to this stage over and over again. There are 2 ways how couples stuck in Power Struggle stage: They don't deal with the difficulties, instead they take the nearest exit - breakup.
These people normally are serial daters, never fully committing, and always looking for love. They continue the relationship, along with pain and frustration that stuck in the past. These people typically think that love must be involved sacrifice and compromise, and eventually the relationship becomes emotionally bored, along with their sex life.
They usually are not willing to face their problems, weaknesses, and themselves, they are afraid to face confront. You need to overcome this Power Struggle Stage to have a happy and healthy relationship. The stage comes to an end when you: The Stability Stage When comes to this stage, you already become very clear that changing your partner is not the way to resolve the differences and you give up the desire to. You are OK if you partner is different from you, that's her uniqueness.
Transform Your Relationship – Part 3: The Power Struggle
You already realized there's no way going to meet all needs of you two. You have clear boundaries and you respect her boundaries as well. You accept her as an individual person and learn mutual respect.
You won't be emotional because of the conflicts, instead you learn things from them. You both have evolved a set of role expectations and a set of rules for negotiating the differences.
However, if you become too attached to the peace and stability you will get side effects - there will be no novelty and change in your relationship.
Since there's nothing interesting in your love life, your love life will become boring very soon. The worse is, there is no growth in your relationship. All growth involves risk, pain, and uncertainty, it requires a change and step outside your comfort zone.