Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker | HuffPost
Lies and secrets damage us and our relationships. Not surprisingly, beyond mental distress, research reveals that lying leads to health complaints. 8. Contemplation in advance about the consequences of our actions to. There're white lies & black lies you know It's fine as long as it's a white lie. I'd been in one "gray lie" situation, when the company I worked at. We don't talk. Being in a relationship with somebody who lies is tough. People who lie for this reason can get better and learn to tell the truth.
Lying to somebody communicates the opposite.
Here are the things that lies did to my two relationships: When my friends lied, I felt disrespected and unimportant. This made me feel bad about myself, as though I were not important or trustworthy enough to be told the truth. When I found out the extent of one of the lies, I felt like a fool. It was as though she were testing out whether she was safe to be vulnerable. She told many other lies, but this was just one of them. I thought less of my friends. When we lie, we are stealing social commodity without having earned it.
People can lie their way into power, and in one instance with a friend, she lied her way into moral superiority. An appropriate use of those two examples of superiority might be to lead a team or teach a class.
I felt sad and lonely. When we think we are getting to know somebody, we are giving them parts of our hearts. This made me feel lonely and dumb. The only thing more important than love in a relationship is trust. Trust is the soil love grows in. When my friends lied, our trust died. As much as I wanted to forgive them, and feel like I did and have, interacting with them was no longer the same.
I doubted much of what they said. Sadly, I think both of them began to tell more and more of the truth. They were still thinking of themselves. What really happened was I felt terrible about myself and when somebody makes us feel bad about ourselves, we tend to get hurt and move away.
For a liar to change, they need a lot of help. Lying is manipulation, so if a person is a manipulator and gets caught lying, they are most likely going to keep manipulating.
They may tell more lies to cover their lies, or manipulate by playing the victim.
They may try to find things other people have done that they see as worse and try to make people focus on that.
Lies about fidelity and money are the two most common ones that affect couples. They make it almost impossible to have real trust ever again in a relationship. If your partner has cheated or if you feel that he or she will cheat again you have a trust issue. In addition to lying to you, he or she is making you constantly wait for "the other shoe to drop. Staying together is not an option for you.
How to move past lying in a relationship? : AskMen
Life is too stressful. I absolutely cannot trust him. Once I caught him in a lie that changed everything. I can't take him back no matter how charming he seems to be right now.Relationships Built Upon Lies
A fifty-something woman confided to me about what her new husband had done that constituted a complete marital trust breaker. In the glow and trust of a new marriage she had put his name on her checking account.
A week after coming home from her honeymoon she had gone to cash a check for two hundred dollars only to be told there were insufficient funds in her account. Her new husband it seemed had used her money to pay off his heavy debts he had accumulated with his first wife, debts this wife knew nothing about! He had told her that he was debt-free when they were dating.
After I left he wanted to 'try again' but I was not willing to be with someone who was untrustworthy. Lies such as, "I didn't call because my cell phone died.
The Devastating Power of Lies in a Relationship
Don't you trust me? The lies may seem innocuous and innocent but the reality is that this person feels lies are acceptable.
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He or she may lie about being late coming home or say they did something that you needed done but in reality didn't do it. No major lies about infidelity or money but a pattern is being established where lying becomes second nature to the truth. Stop making excuses for the person who lies to you over and over again.