An Open Letter to the Man Who Broke My Heart | HuffPost
I was beginning to wonder if my heart could take any more letdowns. Then you walked into my life. Man, when I first met you, I never knew how much of an. Psychologist Dr Guy Winch, author of How To Fix A Broken Heart, has become an expert on healing post-relationship pain after experiencing. Rebuilding Trust: A Letter to Help Heal Your Relationship After Infidelity, 1 of 2 to justify choices that were destructive, and I broke our vows to one another.
I want you back and I know I can't have you. And it's the worst feeling in the world. I can't move on. Should I not have moved? Should I not have let you visit me? Should I not be texting you? It's driving me crazy. Every little thing drives me crazy. I want to know what you're doing and if you feel the same way. So I'll just keep doing this, whatever I'm doing.
Bliss December 6 It's always hard to imagine that things will get better. And then they do. You drunk texted me tonight and we talked the rest of the night. We talked about skiing and your upcoming trip.
It was light and fun and reminded me why the torture of not being together is so worth it. Because of how we feel in those moments.
An Open Letter to the Man Who Broke My Heart
To more moments like that. Birthday December 7 I can't believe I'm turning 24 in a few months. So much has happened in the last couple years of my life: I was talking to my mom about plans over the Thanksgiving break and she made me realize how young 24 is. I thought I would be married by now, but I can't imagine that at all.
Rebuilding Trust: A Letter to Help Heal Your Relationship After Infidelity, 1 of 2
At this rate, I probably won't be married until I'm in my thirties. And I'm finally okay with that. I have a lot I want to do. I think what's hard about us is that we were so young when we dated and we didn't want to compromise.
Moving here was important for me. I've grown so much. And I'm sure you've grown too. The thought I have now is, what's next? I wonder and day dream a lot about whether we will end up in the same city again.
Maybe next year, or the year after? I never thought I would be ready to move back to where you are, but it's in the back of my mind now. I needed to get out here for myself, and now I have. I'm going to live it up while I'm here. It's sad that we couldn't do it together, like I had really hoped, and planned on, but such is life. I hope there's something good that comes out of all of this. Fuck December 11 And today, with three phone calls, I fucked everything up.
I pushed you to tell me what the fuck was going on, and you shut down. I feel so sick. Why do I destroy everything when it's going so well? It's like I have it out for myself. It's incredible, and I feel it wash over me, but I always lose control.
It must be so clear to you how crazy I am. If you only knew I was writing you these letters. That takes the cake! Crazy December 16 And today I don't know what to think about talking. Should I just cut communication altogether? Am I harming myself? Is the writing on the wall?
The End July 14 Oh God. I forgot I had journaled these to you. The dates in here scare me. A year and a half ago I was where I am now: We kept talking after I moved, and we shouldn't have. At some point, you fell out of love.
You decided I wasn't for you. And you checked out. I wasn't expecting it. When you called and said, "we need to talk" I knew.
And there's nothing I can do but wake up every day and try not to regret anything. Try not to regret staying connected to you, even though the signs were clear. I'm trying not to blame myself. I'm trying not to pinpoint when it was that you stopped loving me. I'm trying not to feel like I wasted a year of my life. I'm trying not to drown in sadness. The one thing I am thankful for is that this time you made it clear. You told me "You're not for me. I don't love you anymore and I don't want to marry you.
I need you to understand that. I'm sorry it took me a year to be honest with you. I was scared of losing you and I wasn't sure about anything. You said those words. Hurt July 17 I hurt so much today. I can barely breathe. Will I ever meet someone who I love as much? But, I wasn't happy most of the time. I gave so much of myself and rarely got it back.
I constantly thought about why you couldn't give me love. Now I know - you didn't have it to give. It still hurts though. I still want you to love me. But I deserve better. I deserve someone just as handsome. Someone who is passionate. Someone who is going places and wants me there. Someone who can make tough decisions. Someone with strong morals. Someone with a backbone. Let me express the hope and loyalty that is instilled inside of a girl who built up wall after wall only to feel as though they were peacefully torn down by a man who pulled her deeply into his love.
I cannot formulate those emotions into words the same way I cannot describe the way it felt to have you rip that all to pieces. I want you to know that I loved you. I loved you through every emotional part of the roller coaster you have brought into my life. I loved you on the days that you were pleasant and kind and also the days you were unrecognizable to me.
I loved you through changing circumstance and the rapid movement of time. I even loved you when you decided that you didn't love me anymore. I think a part of me still loves you while I sit here in the darkness, face hot with tears and disillusionment. But what I want you to know most is that I still love myself, and I still know what love really is.
The difference between you and I is that my love is unwavering. It is a love that is deep inside of my soul and gives restoration to my faith in other people. It is a love that I was taught when I was a little girl.
People in this world are going to hurt me. They have, and they will again. They will love me and they will hate me. Sometimes they will do both, as you have decided to do. You have shattered my heart, but you have not shattered my love. Love is not something that is cast aside and broken. It is something that resides safely inside of each and every one us if we choose to recognize it.
It is a tool for forgiveness and strength. It is faith, when we lose it in humanity. It is being able to see our own beauty and potential, even when others make those things feel non-existent. Love is a perpetual joy that saves us when all hope feels lost. Love is not something that you can take from me. You have broken my heart, but you have not broken my love.
I know you have it too, deep inside of you, and my love allows me to genuinely hope that you will understand it one day. There are no simple letters written about simple heartbreaks.