11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today | HuffPost
I think it's easy to make things more complicated than they need to be. Here are some basic rules of the relationship road that will keep you headed in the right. For some of you, it was just this morning. And at some time, So what does it take to be a good husband, and in turn, have a happy marriage?. Here are 12 suggestions to cultivate a stronger relationship with your spouse. the rules that will make our relationship work better or flow more smoothly.
To serve is always better than to receive. Here are the five tips that helped me. Listen and ask questions The clues are there if you just listen. You may think it's a riddle, but just focus on what they are trying to convey. The answers will be there. If you don't understand, ask questions, try to continue the conversation. Most of the time, we are hearing, but not understanding, what our spouse is talking about.
You're not engaging in the conversation; you're just looking to get it over with. Try not to move on to what you want to talk about. Try to understand your partner's point of view by listening, questioning and finally, understanding.
Don't buy stuff, create memories Yes, most women love jewelry, but they also love taking pictures and creating memories. Instead of buying her love with a necklace or a ring, go on sites like Groupon and book an activity that both of you can enjoy together.
My wife and I have enjoyed salsa lessons, cooking classes and even a trapeze workshop! It didn't matter what the event was; it was the fact that we were doing it together that made it special. The accomplishment of doing something together will form a greater bond than any item you can buy. We sometimes forget that everything doesn't revolve around us.
Your wife may be upset about something and it has nothing to do with you. Your wife may be stressed from watching the kids, work, school, whatever.
5 Steps to Improve Your Relationship With Your Wife | HuffPost Life
What should you do? If it's the kids, take them to the mall or the movies. If it's work, pour her a glass of wine and go for a jog. If it's school, buy her an hour massage to relax her. The most important thing is for her to clear her mind and relax. Just give her space and she will appreciate the gesture. Think before you speak If we just waited that half second, we wouldn't have said it.
We get too comfortable and lose sight of the other person's feelings.
I can't tell you how many times I received the silent treatment because I said something insensitive. Talk to her Women love to talk, and they love it when their men take the time to sit down and really discuss things with them.
Where men use conversation to move information, women use conversation to connect with others. Meet her need to converse and share all the details and tangents about the subject at hand by being an active participant in the conversation. This shows that you find value in her opinions, which draws her closer to you.
Nothing weakens a relationship faster than ignoring your partner, or not understanding her need for conversation. Ever seen one of those married couples whose marriage seems more like a roommate situation than a real couple? Your conversations do not always have to be about big topics. Just sitting down before the evening chores overwhelm everyone and tuning into each other is enough to show her that one of your greatest pleasures is hearing what she has to say.
Pay attention Do more than pay attention: And not only on her birthday. Express your gratitude for how well she manages the needs of everyone in the house; how well she takes care of herself all while having to tend to others; how thoughtful she is towards your parents.
Because you truly see her and everything she does. And it will be a tough road gaining back your spouse's trust if you've lied about overspending. Along that same vein, if you feel you aren't connecting with your partner the way you used to, you need to say something -- now. I've learned this lesson the hard way. I once let communication issues fester for months on end, failing to verbalize my displeasure, and my husband and I wound up in marriage counseling for nearly a year. It took a third party -- and a real investment on our part -- to get us back on track.
If I had not kept telling myself that things would get better on their own, we might not have reached what I call the danger zone.
Take care of your appearance. With many years and a few kids under your belt, it's easy to let your appearance slide. Think about when you first met your partner. Would you have walked around in stained sweatpants and without brushing your teeth? My guess is no. I'm not saying you have to look like Julianne Moore every time you settle in for a night of TV. Sometimes my husband will say "wow, you look nice" as I'm walking out the door for a girls' night out.
At least pay your spouse the same courtesy you do your friends by fixing yourself up for him or her every once in awhile. Foster relationships outside your marriage. I've been going on girls' trips for as long as I've been married. Yes, I love traipsing off with my spouse and three kids.
How To Connect Emotionally With Your Wife
But these weekends away with friends are also important. Swapping stories with others and enjoying new experiences make me -- I hope -- a more interesting person for my spouse to be around.
When Katie Couric asked Barbra Streisand the secret to her happy year marriage to James Brolin, she replied "time apart. Your marriage should be your primary relationship -- but it needn't be the only one. There are many things you should never say to a longtime spouse, the first being: It's also never a good idea to start a sentence with: We hopefully all have a pretty good sense of ourselves at this point and having someone you love point out a failing in this way does little to engender a loving relationship.
Neither of these is true.
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today
If you start a sentence with these words your mate is certain to shut down or start a fight. Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead. Put away the jumper cables yourself. In life, there are big things and there are little things. The big things -- draining the bank accounts to support a gambling habit, forgetting to mention that he's in the federal witness relocation program living under a false identity or that he has a second family stashed in Queens -- are of course one-way streets to divorce court.
But most of us don't have problems of that magnitude.