How to heal a long distance relationship

10 Tips To Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work - mindbodygreen

how to heal a long distance relationship

Dating and conversation experts weigh in on the best ways to maintain a long- distance relationship. In this age of Skyping and texting, it seems that maintaining a long-distance relationship would be easier than ever before. Gone are the days of. Your question is merged with another one similar, so I answer it here. From what you wrote, that you two have been having fights for months over stupid things.

Do things that interest you. Do these things alone, if need be. Remember, investing in yourself is another way of investing in your most important relationship. Neglecting other important relationships Are you spending all your spare time on your phone or computer?

If you focus all your free time and energy on your long distance love, your relationships with those close to you will suffer. You will be happier and healthier if you have a strong network of friends beyond your partner. To do that, you need to spend time connecting with them.

Check in with yourself by answering these questions.

Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance

Had a quality catch-up with someone other than your long distance partner? Who do you owe a phone call or email to?

how to heal a long distance relationship

Growing apart When your love moves far away and some aspects of your relationship pause or slow down, the rest of life continues. You are both accumulating experiences. Some of these experiences will change you. The reverse is also true. No matter how much you love each other, there is a real chance that a slow drift during your time apart will cause you to grow away from each other in ways that frequent flier miles cannot fix. This is one of the hardest long distance relationship problems to fix.

Talk about this risk with your partner. And here are some things that will help prevent that from happening: Both agreeing that you want the distance to be temporary, and having a close-the-gap goal in mind. However, the opposite can also be true. Distance can also enable poor communication patterns to become established. For starters, especially when one or both of you is busy, it can become easy not to invest in connecting deeply with your partner.

In-depth conversations can become fewer and farther in between. It can become habitual to mostly talk about how your day was, or keep the conversation fairly superficial and brief. Try talking only a couple of times a week for a while so that you can recharge.

Then, when you do talk, focus. Jealousy Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a relationship, particularly when you are separated from your loved one. A little jealousy can even spark fresh attraction and a new appreciation for your partner.

how to heal a long distance relationship

However, while a single candle can illuminate a room, a blaze can burn it to the ground. Uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. Controlling jealousy is not easy, but it can be done. Take a look at this article for more on the nuts and bolts of how to get a handle on overcoming jealousy: Jumping in the deep end Growing apart is a particular pitfall for couples that were established before they started doing long distance.

Couples who like I did start their relationship across distance face almost the opposite problem—the temptation to become too emotionally intimate, too quickly. In some ways, getting to know someone via email and phone calls can help your relationship. The distance can force you to talk about all sorts of things you might not have discussed if doing other things or, um, each other was a realistic option. On the other hand, falling in love long distance is a risky business.

Remember that the rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, do not run. And no diving in headfirst. Take your time getting to know each other. Approaching your new relationship in a measured manner may yield benefits for years to come.

Miscommunications Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen frequently in relationships. They happen when you share the same house with someone. Luckily for me, Mike is not easily offended or hurt or, for that matter, deterred.

Another time, Mike and I were discussing something that I was very worried about. This makes effective communication harder. When you feel confused or hurt, remember that you may have misunderstood what your partner said or meant! Ask questions to clarify, and really try to respond thoughtfully rather than just react.

Beyond any specific incident, learn the natural similarities and differences in your communication styles, and how each of you tends to react to frustration, disappointment, or conflict.

how to heal a long distance relationship

Check out this article series on managing conflict in long distance relationships. Stonewalling People sometimes email me about their long distance relationship and say something like this: Be sure to have time to catch up with each other at the end of each day whenever possible.

Text during the day just to let your partner know that you are thinking about him or her.

Love in Long-Distance Relationships | Healing Together for Couples

Skype when you can so that you can see each other. If you are on face book, post pictures of times you all share so that you can reminisce and renew your commitment to others in your worlds. Have regular time together…in person. It is important for connection and intimacy to be together as much as possible.

Clearly, this may be impossible for some couples. Military families are separated for long periods of time; however, whenever possible, find ways to make it a priority to be together, in person, as frequently as possible. Be sure to make that time as positive as possible.


Do not dwell on how hard it is, rather, make memories for the future. Pursue common interests, even if you are not doing them together all of the time. Look for things to do that you can share with each other when you are together and are interested in talking about when you are apart.

Learn to play golf, take bridge lessons, begin a running routine and challenge each other with it. Talk about your future together.

how to heal a long distance relationship

Plan for vacations, holidays and weekends. Talk about goals for yourselves and, if you are married or engaged, for your future as a couple. Singles should be careful not to push anyone into a commitment. Plan for when you will be together in the future. Be open and honest about your struggles with being apart while also respecting that you do not want your partner to feel guilty about the separation.

Make sure that is only a very small part of your conversations with each other.

3 Ways to Let Go of a Long Distance Relationship - wikiHow

You should not be afraid to voice your concerns and struggles with being apart. Unless something can be done to change it; however, you do not want this to be the main part of any conversation with the person that you love. Share loving and positive feelings every day.