How to handle your first relationship

how to handle your first relationship

Sep 23, I know you're probably thinking that 21 is a pretty ripe old age to be in a first relationship, but I can explain. I've had a few flings in the past, by. Feb 5, It's your first relationship and it's real. You did it against all the odds and against conventional wisdom that Millennials don't date anymore or. Meaning, you don't own each other and should therefore treat each other as individuals and not possessions. Especially because this is your first relationship, .

None of these romances ever amounted to anything because relationships scared the hell out of me. I was insecure and wondered why anyone would want someone around them all the time to see all their flaws. I think my change in heart had less to do with my boyfriend and more to do with who I decided to be this year.

The author and her boyfriend Instead of running from my fears, like I often do, and miss out on something amazing, I vowed to myself that I would run headfirst into what scared me. Since beginning a relationship, I have experienced a whirlwind of new emotions.

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Some days I feel warm and fuzzy, while other days I feel like the world is on the brink of collapsing. I tried watching it last summer, but I could only get through about four episodes before I had to stop. I was so annoyed that all the main character cared about, all she could talk about and all the show revolved around was her relationship or lack thereof with a boy. But I get it now, Jenna.

how to handle your first relationship

Those annoying country love songsromantic comedies and even Taylor Swift all make sense now. I can finally empathize with some lyrics and TV situations and certain movies are much more entertaining now.

6 Things That Happen in Your First Relationship

I told her I went to see my boyfriend for a few minutes before his class started and she smiled. I told her it was weird hearing myself say it. You Overthink Everything For a chronic over-thinker like myself, this has been the worst part.

By the way, High School Dating Advice

My mind usually sounds a little like this: Am I texting him too much? Controlling what your partner can do, who they can talk to, etc is not grounds for a healthy relationship and it is a temporary fix that won't make you feel more secure in the long-run. You can certainly discuss your feelings with your partner this makes me feel insecure but issuing demands I forbid you is different. Deal-breakers The above being said, you are allowed to have deal breakers. These are expectations that you are unwilling to compromise on.

Here's the thing about deal-breakers though: You should absolutely have deal-breakers but these are not things that you get to impose on your partner but rather you should try and find partners who want the same things or are willing to meet those expectations, not date someone and then issue them an ultimatum.

If you want kids for instance, find someone who wants kids too. Don't just date whoever you want and then demand that they have kids with you, five years down the line.

how to handle your first relationship

Communication A lot of times we are told to do everything but communicate. We meet someone we like and then there's all these strange rules about texting. Don't text too fast but don't wait too long either. Don't play too hard to get but don't come across as desperate either.

There's all these strange lines we're supposed to walk and then interpret and a lot of us waste our time agonizing over what something means rather than just asking the other person.

So that being said, don't play these games. If you want to date someone, don't tell them no "to not seem desperate". If you want to talk to someone, send them a text message, don't hold off.

What Should You Know Before Your First Relationship?

If you're uncertain if someone still likes you, then ask them. If something bothers you, talk about it politely. If you like someone, then tell them. You will save yourself so much time and unnecessary confusion if you are just willing to talk plainly. Also, be able to clearly communicate your expectations.

A lot of times we assume that everyone wants the same things. If you have needs and expectations, talk about them. For a relevant example, remember the Rachel and Ross storyline on Friends. Some people believe that "taking a break" means, free to sleep with other people. Others believe "taking a break" means, taking time to yourself to think. Don't assume your partner knows which one of these you mean, discuss it. Know warning signs Don't buy into the myth that if you really love someone, you'll stand by them no matter what.

That's how I and likely a lot of other people ended up in abusive relationships we took way too long to leave. If your partner's behavior is unacceptable, then get out. A really good rule is that if someone shows you a glimpse into their behavior, you should believe it the first time. If they call you names when you're in a fight, expect that they will keep calling you names. If they get jealous and controlling over one issue, expect the jealousy and control to continue.

If they lose their temper over a small issue, expect them to have a short temper. If they hit you one time and then apologize, expect that they will hit you again.

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