How to deal with unfairness in a relationship

How to Deal With Anger and Being Treated Unfairly in Your Relationships

how to deal with unfairness in a relationship

Here are some ways to promote fairness in relationships without Countless relationship problems come from perceptions of unfairness. Almost every article that has ever been written with a relationship tag is You should also check 8 Ways to deal with a controlling partner. We experience a strong biological response to perceived unfairness, but we can challenge it so that we empower ourselves instead of dwelling in anxiety.

When I have to cook, because he works less than me. When I have to do any house chore, because he works less than me. When I worked 20 hours a day during a crazy auditor peak season, and I told my husband to wake me up after 1 hour. No matter how many times he tried, I kept telling him to wake me up one hour after that. He ended up staying up all night. Then something urgent at work got me, and I had him waiting for me under the burning sun for 4 hours.

He never said a word about it. The only thing he asked was how bad I felt. When I got sick and woke up in the middle of the night due to a cough, my husband woke up and started rubbing my neck and chest with VapoRub.

how to deal with unfairness in a relationship

When I became grumpy for being woken up because my husband came to bed late, but when I woke him up while he was sleeping, with his eyes closed, he still managed to cuddle me. When I was too busy with my work, I literally came home at midnight, my dinner was ready and all I had to do was to sit down and eat.

When I got up early but doing nothing else than my morning exercise, my husband woke up and made breakfast, then prepared lunch for me. My unfair perspective I am biased toward myself.

I tried to change it but it is still there somewhere. Unsurprisingly, I get angry with my husband and he always tells me he has no clue why. Because my crazy inner voices present a ton of evidence that my husband is a selfish, reckless and uncaring person. Explain exactly what it is that makes you feel you've been treated unfairly. She, at this point, will most likely apologize, claiming that was not her intent.

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  • So Why Am I Bringing Up the Subject of Anger?
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She may not even realize that she's doing things that make you angry. But once you point this out, it's her obligation to not do those things anymore assuming you're not being unreasonable. Now this may sound like pretty simple stuff, but very often we don't really understand the cause of our own anger. All we know is that we're angry about what she did, and we're gonna let her know about it.

How to Deal with Unfairness and Change the Things You Can

False anger does not follow the same rules and does not stem from the same underlying causes. For example, your lady might get angry and throw a little hissyfit in order to TEST you — to see how you respond.

She wants to find out if you'll be a man and stand up for yourself, or if you'll be a little weenie and beg her for forgiveness? Or she might become angry simply to add a little drama and excitement to a relationship which has become boring and mundane. As a budding Don Juan, it's your job to maintain the relationship, to keep the excitement levels high. So if she's resorting to false anger and other drama-inducing behaviors, then you're most likely not doing your job very well.

Three Ways to Deal with Unfair Relationships | NLP Discoveries

Or, on the other hand, she could just be a nut! Again though, this is not real anger, and the experienced Don can usually identify these situations for what they really are, and respond appropriately. Anyhow, back to the topic of real anger. How an Understanding of Anger Can Impact Your Life You might be pleasantly surprised at how an understanding of anger can positively impact your life by helping you to better understand your feelings in a variety of situations.

For example, I always get a good chuckle from many of the newbies who visit SoSuave.

I have an unfair relationship

Many of these guys are angry. They're angry at women. They often feel that women are illogical, stupid, or just plain mean.

How to stop unfairness in relationships

They don't understand women A newbie often tells a tale of how he did "everything right" with this woman — complimented her tirelessly, brought her flowers on every datecalled her 3 times a day, did anything and everything she wanted, told her he loved her, wrote her poetry, and was, in general, just so so nice to her They feel they've been treated unfairly.

That they've done pretty much exactly what women have been saying that they've wanted for decades Of course, when you do everything right with a woman, you expect to be treated very well by her in return. You expect her to like you, to be attracted to you, to want to be around you. And when that doesn't happen, you get angry But once the newbie has done a little reading — a few dozen articles, a few hundred tips — the anger begins to subside.

He begins to understand women.

how to deal with unfairness in a relationship

He begins to understand the game, the rules, the principles. He realizes that, NO, he was not doing everything right with the girl who just dumped him. In fact, he was doing most everything wrong And he begins to feel not angry with women, not anymore, but a little stupid, ashamed, and embarrassed about his past behaviors. And he can then, at that point, begins the process of becoming the suave, sophisticated Don Juan he always wanted to be.

In fact, sometimes it can actually serve useful purposes. Have you ever wondered why some women stay in relationships with abusive men It has a lot to do with anger and the woman's perception that she is either being treated fairly or unfairly.

The women who stay in these relationships tend to have very low self-esteem. And thus, they don't see the abusive behavior as being unfair treatment.

how to deal with unfairness in a relationship

And without that critical perception of unfairness, and without the anger that results, they don't have the necessary motivation to make a change. On the other hand, women with high self-esteem will get angry when they are treated in an abusive fashion.

They don't feel as though the behavior is warranted or fair. And they will take steps to change the situation.

how to deal with unfairness in a relationship

One of the keys to getting a woman out of an abusive relationship is to make her angry, to make her feel as though she's being treated unfairly, and that she deserves better. Can Anger Increase Attraction? Now I'd be remiss if I didn't mention to you one other anger tidbit. Let me point out that in some rare instances a display of anger on your part can actually increase a woman's attraction toward you.

It can make you look energetic, emotional, confident, forceful, and strong. It can make you look like a man who demands respect and who expects others to treat him well.