How to be in a healthy relationship

VAV Healthy Relationships

how to be in a healthy relationship

Healthy relationships are ones that bring out the best in you. Even though no relationship is perfect, healthy relationships make you feel good almost all of the . Jan 22, If you can say yes to most of these, it's very likely you're in a healthy relationship. What exactly do we mean by healthy relationships? Who in the relationship decides what is healthy and what is not? Healthy relationships allow both partners to.

Distinguish between things you want versus things you need from your partner. For example, for safety reasons, you might need your partner to remember to pick you up on time after dark. But calling you several times a day may really only be a "want.

A clear message involves a respectful but direct expression of your wants and needs. Take some time to identify what you really want before talking to your partner. Work on being able to describe your request in clear, observable terms. For example, you might say, "I would like you to hold my hand more often" rather than the vague, "I wish you were more affectionate.

It can be tempting to list your concerns or grievances, but doing so will likely prolong an argument. Do your best to keep the focus on resolving one concern at a time. Being a good listener requires the following: You might start this process with: Research has found that couples who "edit" themselves and do not say all the angry things they may be thinking are typically the happiest. Adopt a "Win-Win" Position. A "win-win" stance means that your goal is for the relationship, rather than for either partner, to "win" in a conflict situation.

Holding on to unrealistic expectations can cause a relationship to be unsatisfying and to eventually fail.

how to be in a healthy relationship

The following will help you to distinguish between healthy and problematic relationship expectations: What you want from a relationship in the early months of dating may be quite different from what you want after you have been together for some time.

Anticipate that both you and your partner will change over time.

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Feelings of love and passion change with time, as well. Respecting and valuing these changes is healthy. Love literally changes brain chemistry for the first months of a relationship. For both physiological and emotional reasons, an established relationship will have a more complex and often richer type of passion than a new relationship. It is difficult, but healthy, to accept that there are some things about our partners that will not change over time, no matter how much we want them to.

Unfortunately, there is often an expectation that our partner will change only in the ways we want. We may also hold the unrealistic expectation that our partner will never change from the way he or she is now.

Express Wants and Needs. While it is easy to assume that your partner knows your wants and needs, this is often not the case and can be the source of much stress in relationships. A healthier approach is to directly express our needs and wishes to our partner.

how to be in a healthy relationship

Respect Your Partner's Rights. It is unrealistic to expect or demand that that he or she have the same priorities, goals, and interests as you. Be Prepared to "Fight Fair. Healthy couples fight, but they "fight fair" - accepting responsibility for their part in a problem, admitting when they are wrong, and seeking compromise.

What is a Healthy Relationship?

Additional information about fair fighting can be found here. Fighting Fair Maintain the Relationship. Most of us know that keeping a vehicle moving in the desired direction requires not only regular refueling, but also ongoing maintenance and active corrections to the steering to compensate for changes in the road. Below are some characteristic that maybe present in your healthy relationships.

While in a healthy relationship you: Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men. Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled.

Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships. What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship? At times all relationships will have some of the characteristics listed below. However, unhealthy relationships will exhibit these characteristics more frequently and cause you stress and pressure that is hard to avoid.

This tension is unhealthy for both members of the relationship and may lead to problems in other areas of your life. Along the way, if you need advice, feel free to contact us. Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control.

Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind. Consider these points as you move forward: Understand that a person can only change if they want to. Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep. If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it.

Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Remember, our advocates are always ready to talk if you need a listening ear.

Think about breaking up.

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