How daughters can repair a damaged relationship with their divorced dad
Fathers take on different roles through the course of our lives, but the course isn't always clean and smooth. There are few examples of father/son relationships. As you both grow older, the bond between parent and child must find a more fulfilling relationship with your mother and your father than any. The father-son relationship can be complex. the earliest ages of our sons to listen to them without judgment and without trying to fix things too.
You pushed each one of us to pursue an education by any means necessary. Each of your kids has been extremely successful. All have graduated from college, with the exception of the youngest sib who is well on her way to entering into college within the next couple of years. Thank you for pushing me to be better.8 Ways to Improve Parent Child Relationship
We were all grieving and were trying hard to fall back into a routine, all while missing a significant puzzle piece. I feel as though I have a new pair of eyes looking back on these earlier years together. In the past, I just knew that we would never grow close, and that I would probably always interact with you as minimal as possible.
We speak all of the time now, and I am thankful for that. There would always be a birthday party, or a holiday that brought us back together. We may not always agree, but I am more willing to consider your perspective versus shutting you out completely.
How To Fix The Damage From A Bad Father/Daughter Relationship | HuffPost
I wanted to let you know that I love you, and appreciate you for not giving up on me. I needed this in my life, and still consider your feedback when making important decisions. All of those family dinners, and family outings in the past have brought us closer together. Now, my siblings are honestly my best friends, because we learned early on how to look out for one another. All of those summers you forced us all to go to camp, have kept trouble from finding us.
We still have some catching up to do. And over the years, I've spoken with women friends whom I've considered to be very successful in love and career, but who, it turns out didn't view themselves that way.
It's too late to fix my relationship with my father
Ideally, as we get older, we learn more about who our fathers were as people, not just as fathers, and it can help us put some of their behaviors into perspective. Not excuse them, but put them into perspective. A friend once told me she purposely avoided marrying anyone she thought might become an alcoholic, like her dad.
What she didn't realize was that her father had other equally serious character flaws that she didn't fully understand until she had been on her own and then married for a while. After the war, he worked at a Jeep factory, and at one point he worked for the Post Office. Then he became a salesman for a number of companies. The alcoholism really influenced his career, and his work ethic lessened every year. I never respected him much while I was growing up, although I always knew he was funny.
How To Fix The Damage From A Bad Father/Daughter Relationship
Then, when I attended a funeral several years ago at Arlington National Cemetery, the young Marines were so elegant and strong and disciplined.
For the first time I was overwhelmed with pride for my father. At some point, he'd been one of these guys, and he tried to do what was right. Who knows what changed for him.
A New York City police officer, her father had never shied away from hard work. He worked his way up through the ranks, studying hard and taking written promotion exams for each level, at the same time he attended college and was actively involved in raising his four children, one of whom had Down syndrome.
When I asked her if she thought her relationship with her dad influenced her choice of mates she said it absolutely did: I witnessed my parents' loving relationship and their ability to go through life together, and that was a model for me. So, it isn't just the relationship between me and my dad, but my observation of the relationship between my parents that really influenced my decision about who I wanted to marry.
Women also tend to keep quiet about difficulties at home while they were growing up. It's not that families have a conversation about doing this, but women sense that they're not supposed to tell. The result is that these girls grow up ashamed, thinking that whatever transpired was their fault -- and decades later, they're in writing classes and various forms of therapy, coming to terms with their feelings. As a writer, teacher, daughter, and newly empty-nester in search of my future, I've learned a lot about self-esteem and of the power of love.
It's not your fault. You were just a kid. All kids deserve to be loved and protected. Don't blame yourself for what your father did or didn't do.