Is Your Partner Too Flirty With Other People? Here’s What to Do | StyleCaster
But being in a serious relationship with a serial flirt can have the . 'My ex- boyfriend of five years was a huge flirt when we first met,' says. Expert weigh in on whether it is OK for your partner to be flirting. arranging after -hours get-togethers and making sexually suggestive comments is a big step. You've got a man, but for some reason it seems like he flirts with everyone in his path. So annoying. Sometimes this is a warning sign to something a lot worse.
The fact is, this whole pattern of people projecting a fantasy version of someone onto the actual person is ludicrous.
Rather than wanting him to change, the better path is to move towards understanding each other better. Understanding each other is the basis of connection. You can feel hurt and victimized or you can open your eyes to the bigger picture… and maybe learn something valuable about your guy in the process maybe some need that he still needs met.
Some people have voids inside them and they forever try to fill them — with having other people desire them, with sex, with power, with money, etc.
Most guys would never admit to feeling anything like that. When you can accept him as he is, you start to show him a path towards filling that void. You might see a bigger picture — a picture of what he really needs.
I had a girlfriend who was very flirtatious by nature. She would light up a room and sexuality radiated from her effortlessly. Having an audience was reward in it of itself for her.
Is Your Partner TOO Flirty With Other People? Here’s What to Do
If I were an insecure jealous boyfriend type, I would have flipped out. I would have looked at her actions as meaning something personal about me, felt bad and then demanded that she not do what made her feel alive because it made me feel bad about myself.
It may seem narcissistic, but people do it all the time. Then they shame, punish or guilt their partner into stopping that behavior. Then… one… two… three… five years into the relationship… they wonder where all the passion went. Not just in the relationship, but in their own life. You say your partner flirts with other women and refuses to curb this behaviour.
You say this makes you feel diminished and rejected, and rendered weak and powerless. Are you being fair? Aren't you being as uncompromising as he is? No one can force someone to feel diminished, weak, or any other way.
Each of us is free to choose how to react and feel about what happens to us.
I can't cope with his endless flirting | Life and style | The Guardian
You say you cannot change anything, but you are as inflexible as he is in how you perceive his behaviour. You add that you do not believe he acts out his fantasies, but that his manner towards other women upsets you because it reminds you of your father, who did have affairs.
Isn't it an indulgence to claim that simply because something triggers a painful memory, it should stop? Your partner is not your father: You could, if you chose, interpret your partner's behaviour quite differently.
You say he finds women attractive, and it sounds as if he can usually win their interest. Despite this, he wishes to be with - and stay with - you.💕CAUGHT FLIRTING in the Doorway😍
We all hope to be indulged when we ask for something from a loved one, and indeed it would be desirable for you if your partner immediately ceased all flirting. But most flashpoints in relationships can be resolved through mutual compromise rather than one-sided acquiescence - and neither of you is offering any such accommodation.
Let us now consider the choices available to you. Given that your partner refuses to stop flirting, you could leave him. However, if you hope to find someone who will oblige your every request, I think you will be looking for a long time - at least, to find someone as exciting as your partner. Alternatively, you could give him an ultimatum: However, if you demand this, there is no reason why he should not make similarly absolutist demands on you to change whenever anything you do upsets him.
You could regard your father's affairs as a psychological trauma, and seek treatment so this no longer dominates your reaction to your partner's flirtations.
That seems rather heavy-handed, but it is an option nonetheless. Finally, you could resolve to react differently to your partner's behaviour. Tell him you trust him, and instead of watching his every move, enjoy the social occasions you share. This has one risk. If he is very insecure and needs your constant jealous attention for reassurance, he will flirt even more outrageously.
But if he does, you will need to ask yourself if you want to stay with such a manipulative person. In truth, it is more likely that he would be delighted with your more trusting reaction. He would no longer need to feel defensive, and might even act more considerately.
Ask a Guy: My Boyfriend Flirts With Other Women
But however he responds, you would be able to enjoy life a great deal more. Linda Blair Next week: My fertility clock is ticking I am 35, with a year-old partner, and am concerned about the time I have left to have a child.
We have been together for two years and are saving to buy a house. I have asked him to consider trying for a child in two years, providing we are still stable and happy, but he says he cannot guarantee that he will want to. He does want children but doesn't know when. I am worried that his "when" will be too late for me, and I will be left childless or, worse, he may leave me for a younger woman.
I think the issue is that he is slightly too young to think about this - none of his friends has children yet. We haven't discussed marriage - mainly because I am divorced and no longer see it as the be all and end all.
Both of us view buying a house together as the main commitment to one another. We plan to work abroad together and our future as a couple is fairly certain - it's just this issue of children. Do I take the risk, stay patient and hope he will be ready soon, or leave a wonderful man and relationship and look for someone who wants a family sooner? We have discussed the situation at length and I have been clear about my concerns.
Ask a Guy: My Boyfriend Flirts With Other Women
I would like both of us to be totally happy about the prospect of having a child and I am reluctant to try to "persuade" him to have one before he is ready. I would really like to know how other couples have handled this problem. You are invited to respond to this week's main problem. If you would like fellow readers and Linda Blair to answer a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of around words.