7 Signs You Should Probably End Your Long Distance Relationship
A long distance relationship can be very difficult to maintain. Eventually, the time may come when you feel the need to break it off. This will undoubtedly be a. 5 Signs You Need to End Your Long-Distance Relationship Your partner might be bored with the relationship, or he or she may be interested in other people. Our breakup via video chat felt unnatural, unconvincing, and incomplete, but it's not uncommon for most long-distance relationships to end this.
Over time, though, these red flags became empty promises.end of long distance relationship
Empty Promises I work in the male-dominated field of law enforcement, and I had learned some lessons the hard way during the marriage that had just ended. I brought them up with him. He promised to change. He backed off for a couple of days, but within a week or two we were right back to the same old patterns. I tried conveying every way possible of my feelings for him—which were still strong.
I tried talking about our cultural differences in this area, and how I had had male friends and male colleagues my entire life. I told him the thing he was so afraid of being hurt and losing me was the very thing that was happening, due to his smothering behavior. He claimed to have realized where he was going wrong. He even began reading a book to help with his insecurities and anxiety.
I gave him reassurance. I never lied to him about my whereabouts or who I was with, and I made clear my intentions for our relationship. I wanted to compromise and have that reciprocated. However, he just could not tolerate me spending any time with male friends, or with colleagues outside of work. I visited the USA six weeks after our first visit, still hoping he could change in this area.
He assured me he felt differently and that he would address his thought processes and behavior going forward, but it was an empty promise.
Go with the flow. The pattern of controlling behavior remained. Almost weekly we would have another fight. It seemed he only ever saw our relationship from his viewpoint—what he needed at that moment, regardless of what I was doing or how I was feeling.
I felt as though I was being interrogated for just living my life, but at the same time I wondered if I was overreacting and being too dramatic.
How to End a Long Distance Relationship
I would dread being unobtainable by phone for any amount of time as I knew he would become anxious and the questioning would start again. Listening To Your Gut Instincts I ended the relationship 3 weeks after my return from the USA for our second visit, five months after we started dating.
Looking back after it ended I saw the red flags more clearly, and I saw how early they had appeared—earlier than I had realized at the time. I recognized that I had seen warning signs of his real character and our incompatibility, and that my instincts had been telling me to back off for some time. I thought it was his nerves, his anxiety, his not wanting to be hurt again, or because he loved me so much. I made any number of excuses for him. But a balanced person puts their own needs across, just not in a selfish way.
In a healthy relationship it is give and take, it is listening to what the other person needs and providing that as far as is possible.
In a long distance relationship it is also living with a certain amount of uncertainty. It is practicing trust. It is working on your own sense of security.
How to End a Long Distance Relationship | Dating Tips
It is not needing to know where the other person is every single minute of the day, or needing them to reply to every text immediately no matter what time of day or night. It is not needing constant reassurance that the other person really does love you.
It is not trying to control who they spend time with. Yes, relationship are about change and compromise, but at some point needing someone to change becomes needing an unhealthy level of control. Listen carefully, your instincts are there for a reason! Many people may find it easier to end a long distance relationship via email, instant message or even snail mail.
This is nothing but cowardly. There is no questioning that the phone call is going to be difficult. It's still important that you have a real conversation with the person you've been in a long distance relationship with as this will give the both of you better closure. Make sure that both of you have plenty of time to talk before beginning the conversation.
5 Signs You Need to End Your Long-Distance Relationship
Having this talk before one of you is about to go to work, study for an exam or simply step out for awhile is not a good idea. If the person tells you that he or she cannot really talk at the moment, explain that the two of you need to have a talk sometime soon. Begin by explaining how you came to the decision that it was time to end the long distance relationship. Talk about how things have been in the relationship lately and why there have been problems.
Be brutally honest if necessary. It's important that you bring up the bad parts of the relationship as these are the reasons for ending the long distance relationship. Listen to everything the other person has to say. After you've said your part, the person on the other end of the line will want to respond.
It's only fair that you allow him or her to talk without interruptions. After all, chances are that you don't hate the person with whom you've been in a long distance relationship. This back and forth conversation could be a way that the two of you keep a friendship.
Stand your ground when it comes to ending the long distance relationship.
Many times, people cave when having this conversation, due to the other person pleading for the life of the relationship.