What to Do When You Hate the One You Love
other hand, psychologists conduct research relevant to love and most psychologists seem deeply commit- ted to love. Psychologists thus both critique love. (hate. The Mystery Behind Love-Hate Relationships either all good or all bad tend to have low self-esteem, according to a series of seven studies by Yale researchers published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. A master's thesis submitted to the Graduate Faculty in Liberal Studies in partial The assertion, “It's a thin line between love and hate,” is often referenced to express the sphere of psychology, it is going from what is considered normal behavior or a . personal relationship challenges all too often faced by individuals.
Frontiers | The Deeper the Love, the Deeper the Hate | Psychology
We explored whether participants felt stronger love for a target who was more similar to themselves when the targets and participants were of the same level of excellence.
Additionally, we were also interested in whether participants have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate. We examined two research questions in the current research. First, would there be greater feelings of love between two persons if they were more similar to each other? In this study, we implemented a paradigm similar to what has been used in previous research Takahashi et al.
The characters in the scenario included one protagonist and three targets. Participants read the scenario and imagined that they were the protagonist and were in a romantic relationship with one of the target. We induced different levels of love by manipulating the degree of similarity e. We also induced hate using vignettes that showed target persons betraying the protagonist, such as going on dates or having affairs with people of the opposite-sex.
Materials and Methods Participants Sixty volunteers, recruited from different colleges, participated in the experiment. One participant had misunderstood the instructions and was thus excluded from the analyses. None of the participants reported any previous diagnoses of psychiatric or neurological illnesses.
Each participant had provided written informed consent prior to participating in the experiment. They were also given small tokens of appreciation for their participation. Materials The vignettes used in the present experimental paradigm were adapted from a previous study that investigated the neural correlates of envy and schadenfreude Takahashi et al.
The vignettes were modified to fit the present romantic love context, according to the previous definitions of love Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Schafer and Keith, The people in the vignettes included one protagonist and three targets i. Participants were asked to study and understand the vignettes thoroughly and to imagine themselves as the protagonist in the vignettes.
Target A was described as a person of equal level of excellence and high similarity to the protagonist, target B as equal level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist, and target C as low level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist target C. See Supplementary Table S1 for details. The PLS is suitable for individuals who are and are not in a relationship, and for individuals who have never been in a romantic relationship Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Aron et al.
The reliability and validity of this scale have been established in previous studies Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Fehr, ; Hendrick and Hendrick, ; Fehr and Russell, Procedures Learning Materials The experiment consisted of two parts. We induced feelings of love toward the targets in the participants the protagonists in Part 1 Figure 1and feelings of hate toward the targets in Part 2 Figure 2. Part 1 consisted of three phases: This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 1 love.
First, a fixation cross hair was presented for ms followed by the experimental stimuli Lover A, Lover B, and Lover C that were displayed for ms or until response. The top line in each stimuli-containing rectangle indicated a target person, the middle line indicated the domain of comparison excellence and similarityand the bottom line indicated the specific traits in these two domains.
Part 2 consisted of two phases: This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 2 hate. Each trait was followed by a subsequent negative event, which was presented for ms or until response. The top line indicated a target person, and the bottom line indicated a negative event. A ms inter-stimulus interval was interleaved between each trait and negative event.
First, participants were asked to read a story and imagine that they were the protagonist see Supplementary Material. Each vignette involved the protagonist and three targets. Participants were asked to recall the information relating to each target through free recall.
Participants were then asked to imagine that they were in a romantic relationship with the target. Ratings and Measurements We used E-Prime 2. After the participants studied the materials, they completed the rating task on the computer and then completed the PLS in both Part 1 and Part 2.
Participants gave one love score per item per target person in Part 1 and one hate score per negative event per target person in Part 2, as well as two PLS scores before and after the negative events. In Part 2 of the experiment, the background characteristics of A, B, and C were unchanged; however, we created vignettes in which the targets betrayed the protagonist, for example by having an affair with someone of the opposite sex see the negative events in Supplementary Table S1.
Upon completion of Part 2, participants completed the PLS again to assess their feelings of love toward the three targets. Analysis We used several analyses to test our hypotheses.
- Original Research ARTICLE
- Associated Data
- Love is complicated, isn’t it?
The scores from love ratings, hate ratings, and the PLS items were averaged within subjects prior to the analyses. Simple effect tests were performed when the interaction effect was significant. Additionally, we used a 3 target: Next, we used a 3 target: Tests of simple main effects were performed when an interaction effect was statistically significant. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of love toward target A 5. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of passionate love toward target A Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of hate toward target A 5.
Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the PLS score for target A Love and Hate The 3 targets: The love and hate level of all participants in response to the 3 targets: The corresponding partial correlation analyses revealed similar results A: Discussion This study used an experimental paradigm to study the relationship between romantic love and hate.
The current study provided support for a link between the two affects and insights into the influence of similarity in romantic relationships. We found that people have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate. The relationship between romantic love and hate was revealed to be more complex than expected.
First, our results showed that feelings of love were influenced by similarity. That is, individuals, who were experimentally induced to experience feelings of love, felt stronger love toward someone of the opposite sex who was similar to them, thus, supporting our first hypothesis. Previous studies have examined whether similarity or complementarity played a more vital role in mutual attraction Berscheid and Reis, and concluded that the former was more important.
The Deeper the Love, the Deeper the Hate
This view has also been supported by research looking at mate preferences Luo and Klohnen, and quality of marital relationships Hudson et al. Previous studies had mostly recruited couples or partners who were already in a relationship, and there is little direct evidence on whether the similarity of the two individuals had a crucial role in the development of a romantic relationship.
A recent study Conroy-Beam et al. To some extent, they considered the equivalence in social status between both partners to be an important factor relating to relationship satisfaction. In our study, however, when the participants were presented with two potential partners equal to them in excellence, participants perceived greater love for the one who was more similar to themselves. Relatedly, similarity also played an important role in mate selection.
Our findings complemented the findings of other research in this area. Individuals who were similar to each other easily formed good impressions of each other within a short time. Second, we found significant associations between romantic love and hate in the context of a romantic relationship.
When presented with negative events with three different target persons, participants most hated the person whom they had loved the most previously.A Love-Hate Relationship - Happiness Vlog
You are not alone: The key to getting through the inevitable hard times, as my own research suggests, is to never stop trying to understand where your partner is coming from. Advertisement X Your guide to more connection, compassion, and kindness this month How did Zayas and Shoda find the hate in the midst of love? They asked study participants to think of a significant other they like very much.
Then, the participants reported on their positive and negative feelings toward that person. Unsurprisingly, people reported highly positive feelings and very low negative feelings toward the person they had chosen. But then the researchers assessed implicit feelings—the emotions they might not be consciously aware of—about the significant other.
Participants did a standard computer task that measures how quickly they respond to certain directions. Their job was to categorize the target words as positive or negative as quickly as possible by pushing the correct button. If we are thinking about something pleasant when a positive word pops up, we are quicker to categorize it as positive; but when a negative word pops up, we are slower to put it in the negative category.
Likewise, if we are thinking about something unpleasant, we will be slower to categorize positive words and quicker for negative ones. Great, because here is where it gets interesting. Take a look at the graph below. The bars on the left side of the graph show the typical response using positive and negative objects, such as sunsets and spiders, where positive objects only affect positive target words and negative objects only affect negative target words.
Thus, people feel both positively and negatively toward those they love. This may not surprise you. Feeling negatively towards your partner does not mean that you are doing something wrong or that you are in the wrong relationship.